Miscellaneous: Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/08/2011 13:05 - United States

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 309

You deserved it 41 232

BO Central

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

I'm parked here!

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 755

You deserved it 2 295

By Speechless - 17/06/2016 08:12

Today, it's been a few days since I saw an ad advertising my job after being told about it by a telemarketer. When I asked my boss about it, she claimed things were fine, it was an old ad, not to worry. Now, I was actually fired for no valid reason. A telemarketer gave me more warning than they did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 158

You deserved it 864

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 090

You deserved it 5 834

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 744

You deserved it 8 497

By officeditz - 04/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 425

You deserved it 5 661

By Zinfandel - 07/08/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 140

You deserved it 36 800

By HarryBeast - 10/12/2009 03:24 - Canada

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 934

You deserved it 32 754

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Spicy

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 076

You deserved it 39 543

By clecker - 08/10/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 544

You deserved it 12 907

Oh, hi Mark!

By DepressedKid - 01/10/2010 11:31 - Canada

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 233

You deserved it 3 726

By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 18:07 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 2 574

By veiny - 21/04/2015 13:48 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 558

You deserved it 3 763

Can't let the big man upstairs wait

By Sirsriracha - 21/10/2021 14:01

Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 99

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 168

By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 177

You deserved it 78 054

By krushr - 23/01/2011 05:32 - Canada

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 253

You deserved it 5 310

By whoevenncares - 04/09/2015 01:06 - United States

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 846

By ivyleaguebabe - 03/06/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 731

You deserved it 59 876

By anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 293

You deserved it 5 597

By Salaryman - 15/02/2009 06:21 - Philippines

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 656

You deserved it 4 961

By John - 19/11/2011 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 390

You deserved it 5 101

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 15:45 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 620

You deserved it 7 157

Catflap time

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 17:01 - Germany

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 127

By DDubs - 08/01/2010 03:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that I have fallen for the most amazing girl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 810

You deserved it 6 155

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 862

You deserved it 3 238

By you fucking idiot - 19/12/2013 17:20 - United States - Union

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 383

You deserved it 4 343

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 13:30 - United States - Boston

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 264

You deserved it 7 856

By EastOneTen - 06/10/2012 07:28 - United States

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 248

You deserved it 3 500

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 20:02

Today, I went to a seminar about non-prejudice and acceptance. I spent the whole time being made fun of because of my pink shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 212

By recmonty - 17/05/2012 03:53 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 2 073

By Anonymous - 22/05/2015 18:17 - United Kingdom - Romford

Spicy

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 252

You deserved it 5 093

By Sue - 26/03/2011 15:41 - United States

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 007

You deserved it 3 516

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 179

You deserved it 2 069

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 116

You deserved it 12 625

By GogglesGoggles - 23/12/2013 08:24 - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 757

You deserved it 3 607

By JazzSpazz - 11/08/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 24 019

By gpistas - 23/05/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 748

You deserved it 3 001

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 886

You deserved it 42 976

Sue! SUE!

By homelessagain - 18/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Lorain

Today, I found out, through Facebook, that my landlord hadn't been paying the mortgage on the house I'm renting from him. It's going into foreclosure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 709

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 21:29 - United States - Westfield

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 025

You deserved it 982

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:48

Sounds like the only thing you're missing is a piece of shit car and a crack addiction.

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:48

Well, there has to be one....

Comments

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

Umm try not to be so white trash?

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:48

Well, there has to be one....

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:55

Mullets and meth for everybody!!! Break out the good paper plates. Its a celebration!

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:19

Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!!

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:24

Real white trash families don't have front yards, now if you said while having a screaming argument with my son out the front of my trailer I would consider you white trash

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Monday 29 August 2011 21:30

"You got your sister pregnant? Why you pot bellied son of a bitch."

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Monday 29 August 2011 22:56

Did the rest of the trailer park come out to watch you guys argue?

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:08

haha literally said that before going to the comments sections.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 6:46

Hey if you have Smoke Stacks on your truck you can upgrade to "high class, white trash" xD

z620 0

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Friday 2 September 2011 4:19

Embrace it, Op

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Sunday 22 January 2012 0:01

8 made my day :)

399 41

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Thursday 12 May 2016 13:22

lol

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:48

Sounds like the only thing you're missing is a piece of shit car and a crack addiction.

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:58

Don't you mean a yard filled with piece of shit cars lol

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:25

You don't have to have to be poor to be white trash... This is a HUGE misconception. I live in an affluent community and there are some trashy people in our neighborhood. Money doesn't by you class. I mean, look at a lot of celebrities (I don't even have to name names...),

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:27

You better not be talking about Charlie sheen

Alexisthebestest 16

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:53

This sounds like the making of a great Jerry Springer episode.

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Monday 29 August 2011 23:15

Yes I am speaking about Charlie Sheen. I'm also speaking of Lindsay Lohan, Kate Gosselin, Kendra Wilkinson, Pamela Anderson, Bai Ling, CoCo, Lil Kim, Carmen Electra, Paris Hilton, The Olsen Twins, Shauna Sand, Bret Michaels, The Kardashians, Fantasia, , the cast of The Hills, Chyna, Brittney Spears, Victoria Silvstedt, The Hogans, Traci Bingham, Katie Price, Danny Bonaduce, cast of Jackass, Kid Rock, etc. Yeah... there are a lot of extremely trashy wealthy people.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

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Monday 29 August 2011 23:22

You forgot Snookie.

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Monday 29 August 2011 23:52

I did forget the cast of The Jersey Shore... There are just too many to name, lol.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 4:40

For someone who knows about all those people I'm sure you would of noticed that afew of them are actually black? Lil Kim for one.. Defeats the purpose of calling them "white trash"

SOD_sonofdixie 5

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 5:56

no, see now that's where you're wrong.. crack is too expensive.. I think you meant meth... honest mistake

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 6:42

No 77, he obviously meant toad.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 6:47

Damn u put a lot thought into that list....

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:13

You missed all of the "real housewives of NY, Atlanta, New Jersey" and all of the other cities I missed. They have some of the trashiest people ever! Lol one of them even made a song saying "money can't buy you class" and she is the trashiest one yet!

emilyraenewman 13

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 11:13

Might want to add Miley Cyrus to that list to.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 13:38

Snooki? She's orange trash, not white.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:09

@ For someone who knows about all those people I'm sure you would of noticed that afew of them are actually black? Lil Kim for one.. Defeats the purpose of calling them "white trash". I wasn't talking about just white trash at that point. I wasn't talking about trashy people in general. Any race can be trashy.

summerhot_fml 2

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:48

hey thats my family too!!!!!!

ThreeSheetsGone 12

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:44

That's not really something you should be proud of.

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Monday 29 August 2011 23:29

Hahaha I don't know why you have so many thumbs down! I laughed so hard when I read this! And yeah I know it's not something to be proud of ( other comment ) but at least they know it and don't care what others think!

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Thursday 13 February 2014 23:17

and you're proud of this? you should be ashamed of yourselves. it is people like you that bring down a neighborhood and property value.

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:51

Hahaha I modded this Thought you were the mom XD

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:52

Just because you got into a yelling match with him doesn't make you white trash

dd809 9

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:40

Well doing it in the front yard certainly isn't classy.

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:46

If you balls aint ashy, you aint classy.

crazychick1269 7

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Monday 29 August 2011 22:14

omg lol^ very funny

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:02

I'm guessing you get into loud arguments in your front lawn?

Jays7 10

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Monday 29 August 2011 18:54

At least you're famous? For all the wrong reasons but yet, famous? :P

saIty 17

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:09

Sooo.. Infamous?

suckstoobeyou 0

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:15

So his family is like Paris Hilton?

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:22

Jersey Shore you say?

Jays7 10

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:51

16 - Exactly. :P

Kendall_Cali97 8

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:00

Haha that's what everyone calls my neighbors!!

perdix 29

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:03

Were either of you wearing a shirt at the time? If not, you may be a candidate for COPS or Jerry Springer. Otherwise, you're fancy-ass highbrow fops.

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:06

Then clean up your act

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Monday 29 August 2011 19:31

IKR! It's starting to bother me how many FMLs are "I'm so trashy, fat, pathetic, lazy..etc" These are choices people!!

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Monday 29 August 2011 23:31

That's no fun though...

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Wednesday 4 April 2012 23:03

Or they could make a reality show of themselves

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 48

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 26

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 146

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 47