Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, my wife tried to join me in the shower to be sexy, only I was shampooing so when I turned round and felt someone in the shower with me, I panicked and we both fell and got stuck in the bottom of the bath. Our kids had to come and help, because my wife had a broken arm and we couldn’t move. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
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Top comments
WordBea 23
More like FHL. You got action but she got 3 stitches :(
Jeremiah722 19
Got a little too excited there
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Comments (68)
worldclassrager 41
Better luck next time OP
Thundaar25 11
Now that is a good wife!
SK8WITME 19
well her anger is justified. THREE DAMN STITCHES
trellz17 19
It didn't say she was angry.
SK8WITME 19
gimme a break, I was and still am a bit drunk, shit
khorstmye 15
Did you both get a little head?
lexiieeex3 32
Well it'll be one hell of a story to tell the kids.
Killz268 18
"while your mom and I were in the shower bangin, I accidentally punched her in the head!" yeah, totally tell that to the kids...
lexiieeex3 32
Sarcasm 25...
tranced_ 45
and you just explained it to us.. isn't it the same thing?
hardcorefan16 22
That's what you get for clocking her in the back of her head.
matt1981m 2
it isn't a FML unless she is pissed... then tell her it is a badge of honor, and make the hotel pay for the bills. You don't have to sue for millions, but they should pick up the tab for the hotel stay, medical bills, and the apology dinner and flowers you buy your wife before she lets you try to "make" it up to her...
trucker2 33
She's telling them you got style, a little pain, a little pleasure. Thumbs up, next time have her sign the contract before the contact.
sallen14 8
At least this way the doctors know exactly what happened, a lot of people lie because they're embarrassed and it can mess up stuff.