Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
deedeegirl 0
To # 93 are you a nutritionist or something like seriously, no one else posts a whole freaking essay! And FYI I'm Canadian and there are plenty of healthy places to eat here.. Today I was reading FML and because I have no life and can't get laid I decided to type up a whole frickin essay. FML.
kk3211 0
lol #2. that kid fails. you win.
mattmag 0
He won't pull another fake high five on you again anytime soon. Yet another problem solved by beating children.
yungmoolahbaby 0
you should've said "i didn't mean to hit you, i was just high fiving you in the face!"
laurraaa_fml 0
my mom slapped me all the time as a little kid...
qwertyuiopz 0
shoulda given him a real slap after YDI
AnnieLennox1954 0
Kay, so if u took your kids to McDonald's for "food" then I can only arrive at the conclusion that you're worse than a child-beater. Asshole, YDI.
FuzzyWalnuts 0
Haha too slow!
repteo90 0
ahahaha #2
aztec37 0
#9, your retarded. eating at fastfood places sometimes doesn't make kids become fat. eating there a lot and eating a lot of food and not being active and not having high metabolism does.