Love: Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 762

You deserved it 6 428

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Same thing different taste

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 537

You deserved it 15 624

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 466

You deserved it 6 697

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 141

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 783

You deserved it 38 606

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 64 175

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 666

You deserved it 3 501

By ..… - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 260

You deserved it 4 127

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 5 609

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 46 075

Next

Top comments

niiick97_fml 3

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:47

priceless.

xdust 4

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:49

Hansel and Grettal all over again. Your husband might be a witch.

Comments

AFwifeKern 0

Monday 4 April 2011 17:14

Bang bang!! Haha oven part sux its the thought tht counts!

areix 0

Monday 4 April 2011 19:05

did you learn your lesson?

Eorlas 31

Monday 4 April 2011 19:54

and now youre probably going to cheat on him

ilovemusic22192 0

Monday 4 April 2011 20:45

Bahaha! So...how 'bout them face brownies?

marinaim 17

Monday 4 April 2011 21:47

This reminds me of the paedo witch in Hansel & Gretel.... Are you hiding something OP? !!

walrus86 0

Monday 4 April 2011 22:16

new sex position...

Georgie_chick 0

Monday 4 April 2011 22:17

oh that just sucks

TabzTheLoserKidd 4

Monday 4 April 2011 22:21

is it bad that I laughed? xD

Tonys_kitten6 0

Monday 4 April 2011 22:37

Wow wtf I would have been so pissed >.<

Wazilla 0

Monday 4 April 2011 23:20

What is with this soght that every women says that men need spmthing extremly painfull done to their dick. "Chop it off" "Set in fire" wtf really. It was an accident get over it. if i acidentally ave you a paper cut you guys would chop off my dick in my sleep or somethimg crazy

Petunia888 13

Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:44

I agree, there are some psycho chicks out there.

OhhDamnnnnn 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 9:50

Awwwwwh;

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Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 702

Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 731

You deserved it 33 263

Today, I spent nearly seven hours clearing out our storage room in order to transform it into my art studio. Things were going great until I tweaked my back. At least from my stationary position in bed I have a perfect view of the table I can't work at for the next 2 to 4 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 196

You deserved it 1 383

Today, I had a lovely day, right up until the moment I got home, went to change my pad, and realised that sometime in the last two hours, somewhere between the library and this moment, my pad had somehow… fallen out. So somewhere out there my bloody pad is… just there. What if someone saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 122

Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 393

You deserved it 2 258

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 10 026