Love: Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 760

You deserved it 6 428

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Same thing different taste

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 536

You deserved it 15 623

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 466

You deserved it 6 697

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 140

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 783

You deserved it 38 606

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 64 171

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 662

You deserved it 3 501

By ..… - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 258

You deserved it 4 126

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 5 608

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 46 075

Next

Top comments

niiick97_fml 3

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:47

priceless.

xdust 4

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:49

Hansel and Grettal all over again. Your husband might be a witch.

Comments

alyssa1695 4

Tuesday 5 April 2011 0:12

haha I can't help but laugh

Levvy 22

Tuesday 5 April 2011 1:40

Hey, it got Sylvia Plath famous.

SarahBooCornellO 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 4:44

cool stuff:)

supahnazi 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 5:01

ow! second degree burns on the face = not fun

KillaKamiHB 2

Tuesday 5 April 2011 5:29

well thats ****** up!

4evermossin 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 8:15

well did he like the brownies?

ohyess909 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:01

am sorry your husband was just horny

zimandme123 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 21:19

if you fell into the oven, you wouldnt be able to be on your phone right now dumbass.......just sayin........

OhhDamnnnnn 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 9:51

Yuhr fooken stooped!!!

MJ_Goobs_Xx 0

Monday 25 April 2011 7:22

how do you the exact angle of how she fell? how do you know how bad the burns were? don't call someone a dumb ass unless you know what you are talking about… then you're the one who looks stupid

richard121212 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:16

your face is officially brownied! powned!

chaywood13 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:32

"is the potpie done?"

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The Top

The Top

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 055

You deserved it 2 291

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 348

You deserved it 1 607

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 328

You deserved it 5 846

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 382

You deserved it 6 886

Today, I learned that the guy I've been talking to online lives in the same apartment complex as me. I also learned that I've earned the title of "woman who has sex too loud" in the same apartment complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 156

You deserved it 1 604

Today, a classmate wished me a “Happy Cinco De Mayo” and bought me a Mexican sombrero to wear, and little paper Mexican flags to wave around. I’m Venezuelan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 137