Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
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By
Lillinette
| 2
you'd tap that. admit it.
By
ffmmllyaya
| 0
confidence ftw
COMMENTS
By
ocho117
| 0
First!!!
Reply
cheesy_donut
| 0
this is worse
http://tinyurl.com/yz7dyfs/sammi/index.php?id=15c10675bd6f314e84aafd34c5723eef
http://tinyurl.com/yz7dyfs/sammi/index.php?id=15c10675bd6f314e84aafd34c5723eef
Reply
ehbabeyyyXxx
| 0
bahhahhahahah
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
maybe he's not to up tight in bed hahaha....
ok I know that was stupid any confidence boosters from yall would be appreciated.;)
ok I know that was stupid any confidence boosters from yall would be appreciated.;)
Reply
ashlynn610
| 12
that's creepy D:
Reply
metalhead256
| 0
lol this made my day win for old perverts
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
an old man made a joke, big deal
Reply
tj41567
| 0
lmfao not realy a fml but funny as hell
Reply
AndreaHaha
| 0
lmao that's funny
Reply
redshortsx
| 0
that's fuckin creepy
Reply
BigBoner
| 0
YDI for living in Michigan
Reply
deathcab7
| 0
ewww haha
Reply
zdizzle123
| 0
he wants to get in yo pantz!!! hahaha poor old guy... but honestly what wud u say back 2 that???
Reply
sc95060sc
| 0
take a fuckin joke
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
How is there a pool open in the middle of March?
In Michigan?
In Michigan?
Reply
davidmechaly
| 0
take it as a compliment :D
Reply
cosmicparallax
| 0
It's probably an indoor pool. Like at the YMCA or something.
Reply
beau11
| 0
that's a wierdo
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
Ever heard of an indoor pool?
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
What is this indoors you speak of?
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
'today, i realized i'm pretty enough to be hit on by old guys in sexy speedos. fml.'
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
I can smell, the toxic fumes, in the air, but no one cares. As I learn, my head will turn, into a symbiotic hand.
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
100, are you high?
Reply
WompWompDub_Step
| 0
yes, 103, apparently on toxic fumes...
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
Maybe <_< >_>
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
hxc!
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
P. E. N. I. S. spells penis. Whats up? Confluxiation. On Venus. Lower gravitational pull, on my dick. Pull really hard and you'll get some sick shit. On your face, yes it's white, here it comes, heres the cream. Wipe it from, your face, and say nice. Whats up? Thats random. W. T. F. spells what the fuck.
Reply
ahugit
| 0
#88 - ever heard of an INDOOR pool? They're generally opened year round.... including winter. lol
Reply
fmlsoobad
| 0
just an evryday old perv
Reply
ToxicKittieh
| 0
Yeah, yeah.
Reply
epound28
| 0
Where's the FML here?
I enjoy old men in speedos.
I enjoy old men in speedos.
Reply
ydiftw
| 0
That reminds me of the time my mom ran around kicking people and saying roundhouse while ssinging cant touch me
Reply
daniel1_1
| 13
ew indeed
Reply
alleyx3
| 0
hahahah wow
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
Come on, you know you've had fantasies about this before, why not take a chance.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
she digs him, you know it, she called him a gentleman
Reply
crailboyne
| 0
how is this a big deal? I have fantasies about older men all the time....and I'm a guy.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
^^^
that's... um... nice?
I guess?
that's... um... nice?
I guess?
Reply
thenormalguy
| 0
137 is win
Reply
Killah_Jay
| 0
Too late...
Reply
gregsdaman
| 0
yea bc they r swimming in Michigan right now...cough*cough*FAKEcough*cough*
Reply
marleytooyou
| 0
cough cough indoor pool cough!!!
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
171- there's this AMAZING thing they have nowadays called indoor heating, now you can have indoor pools! omg the things they think of nowadays
Reply
reagan5194
| 0
TFT
Reply
YourEvilHero
| 12
life guards at indoor pools? never seen em
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
they are required in most states
Reply
alexandraa_fml
| 0
There's always atleast two at my YMCA indoor pool.. just lurking to wait and tell me after 15 minutes I've been in the hot tub long enough. >:(
Reply
InCaged_Insanity
| 0
old man ftw!!
Reply
luda111b
| 0
#171 FAIL!! haha and yeah, they do have lifeguards at indoor pools. people don't have to be outdoors to drown.
Reply
panic222354
| 0
WTF?
Reply
charlie_schmidt4
| 0
at least now you don't have to hide it
Reply
MjSmittys
| 0
how do you know it's a she
Reply
harryman04
| 0
@202 scroll to the very top of the fml and look in the top right corner. a female sign.
Reply
kk2krazee
| 0
Thank you #190 for putting that out there. Some people are so ignorant.
OP: big deal
OP: big deal
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
165 scares me.... like literally he's the kinda people
my parents warn me about....
my parents warn me about....
Reply
comedychick
| 1
Rofl! omg haha
Reply
giggleygirl
| 0
that's wrong on sooo many levels :/
Reply
ILoveSoda
| 0
#218 are you homophobic or something? or very closeminded?
I dunno how this is a fml, sure it's akward but seeing as you can't read emotion in texts it looks like a joke.
I dunno how this is a fml, sure it's akward but seeing as you can't read emotion in texts it looks like a joke.
Reply
JRTheGreat
| 0
Thaaaaat's weird.
Reply
ps592
| 0
wtf 165
Reply
vergaso
| 0
well......r u gonna fantasis bout it? if so ydi
Reply
mrwakeemup
| 0
dude...dat suks
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
232- I am homophobic being a firm Christian I don't believe gays are natural, learn to use the front door, back door is for the fudge packers
Reply
KittehSayzRAWR
| 0
Lol smarty ;)
Reply
gods_hunter10
| 0
165 wow faget!!!!!!!!! how the fuck can we survive if all were gay???? retarted father ducker
Reply
Linaelle
| 14
Maybe I'm missing context, but exactly what do you find to be homophobic in this comment ? Old-creeper-phobic, maybe...
By
ffmmllyaya
| 0
confidence ftw
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
10000000th hahaha just kidding. well I mean I guess if u like older winkly mean that's cool
Reply
gymtanlaundry
| 0
i agree,
Reply
xStiglich
| 0
YDI for probly checking him out
Reply
hwkfan1
| 10
that sucks balls ( literally)
Reply
lezzyluver
| 0
haha old perverts for the win!!!
Reply
samham12345
| 3
ffmm wat does ftw mean ???
Reply
michael419
| 0
for the win
Reply
nessimonster
| 0
this is crazy... lmao the op is either that attactive or the old man is just crazy lmao
Reply
cristy91
| 33
ftw= for the win
confidence is a sexy thing. op, next time give him a nice little growl ;]
confidence is a sexy thing. op, next time give him a nice little growl ;]
Reply
ashlynn610
| 12
lmao I always thought ftw meant f*** the world!!! well now I know (:
Reply
epoh_fml
| 0
ok I get FTW but what does XD mean? I get the other ones from context but I've never understood XD.
Reply
ashlynn610
| 12
it's a laughing smiley face...
Reply
itz_towelie
| 6
i though XD was just like a wierd smiley face kinda thing, it actually means somthin?
Reply
beachgirl332
| 0
i thought that too at first lol
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
I think it's funny ^-^
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
73, i think it can mean both. depends on the context it's used in, i suppose.
Reply
Alicia_Raven7
| 0
i thought ftw= fuck the world but meh. way to go old speedo dude xD
Reply
schnitzel5
| 0
wow...epic perverted old man win!
Reply
cater2U
| 0
ew that's weird... this is one reason why I'm afraid of old people
Reply
JattPutt
| 0
Confidence?! Dude, I would be so scared if some old man came up to me and said something like that. That just leads to embarresment which therefore does not lead to confidence, I think. Right?
Reply
Emofluffinzhehe
| 0
just like herbert the neighborhood pervert :3 mmmmmmmmmmmmm... lol
Reply
devl24
| 0
fake there are no pools open in Michigan this time of year!!!!
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
I like how to avoid the mods everyone replys to the second comment.
Reply
Phoenix_GAD
| 0
its called an indoor pool. They tend to be open during the winter. considering they are heated and indoors...
Reply
WolfsGuns
| 0
that's hella funny, it made my day
Reply
pedobearsstalker
| 0
sirin is annoying me
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
confidence is not sexy when you have 250 lb chicks asking you out
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
this is very true^^^ I've had a lot of women ask me out... and I'm not into girls xD
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
If you have 250 lb girls asking you out you should feel ashamed they think you're in their league.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
155- I was commenting on 66 saying confidence is sexy, I'm saying some chicks who need to swing their arms out and around when they walk are annoying when they have the confidence to ask me out, only to have that confidence shot down and burned
Reply
canchremechanic
| 0
155- win!
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
181- you and 155 fail to see the concept, said twice now, the reason they "think" they're in my league is because they have confidence, which I pointed out to 66, making it NOT sexy
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
I saw the concept. I just also saw you set yourself up for a jokes if you have 250 women asking you out. you're right though, confidence doesn't make someone less repulsive.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
yah, don't worry I laugh at myself too, glad I could make a joke for you lol
Reply
hitfaceonbrick
| 0
Confidence can actually be quite a turn on. though sometimes the fugly takes beer goggles.
By
hedgerow
| 0
herbert!
Reply
CharliePoops
| 0
probably because you were staring...
Reply
idaniboo
| 0
I lol'd.
Reply
jasonsaied
| 1
Herbert only likes young boys
Reply
cyberotter
| 0
this was a girl
Reply
csin
| 0
Hey! After my swim, "you want a popsicle? My cellar's full of popsicles!" Buahahah!!!!
Reply
cristy91
| 33
hmmmmmmmmmm. *add creeper smile*
Reply
deathcab7
| 0
thats a creepy thought right there
Reply
madmonkeykilla
| 0
lol 250lb women are like mopeds, fun to ride but u don't want ur friends to find out
Reply
TeeHee124
| 0
lol ^^^^ possibly the best win I've ever seen
By
Lillinette
| 2
you'd tap that. admit it.
Reply
afatmonkey
| 0
Dean Connery said that to me once. Then he stared at the guy until he took off his clothes and made him some Mac 'N Cheese. Then he grinned and used his chest hair as a grappling hook to rise up into the clouds.
Reply
ahugit
| 0
^^^ this made me gag =/
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
afatmonkey and me are getting married (x
Reply
Daerauko
| 0
I wanna go the reception! there better be an open bar!
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
haha there will be:D your all invited.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
^^^
rofl
rofl
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
the funny thing is afatmonkey doesn't k ow about this wedding. so when the day comes I'll just have to bag him and tie him up to a chair and then when he has to say I do he'll have one of those super cool wheelchairs that can talk for you and I'll pressthe little buttons to make it say "I do" and then at the honey moon when were having sex we can do it family guy style "oh oh baby" "yeah I like that"
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
lol drop a bomb on him will yeh, just show and and hey.... were getting married 0_0
=o
=o
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
ahahaha. but I wanna use those super cool wheel chairs!
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
you by chance seen the bid (dunno if it's a movie or not) where there is a guy in one of those chairs who's a perve, it's funny cuz it says it in that monotone computer voice lol
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
ahahaha no I have never seen it xD but I watched the family guy episode where he was like dint make me hit you and then he rams his wife with his wheel chair and then he goes you know I don't like to hurt you. aahahahaha then they have make up sex with there computer voicesxD it's so funny
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
:D lol, sounds funny but I tend to watch south park more than fg
Reply
purplemnm
| 9
maybe Stephan Hawking will let you borrow his.
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
he has one?! :D score I'm gonna go ask him. and yeah south park is pretty funny. I don't wath it a lot though. I've only seen the one wherre everyone ignores that fat kid and the one where there in a bad er something. and the one where that fat kid goes to fat camp. hahaha
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
^^^
maybe Wal-Mart will let you borrow a bag to cover your head
lol
maybe Wal-Mart will let you borrow a bag to cover your head
lol
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
meant for 207* jk tho
lol sry Paige not 4 u XD
lol sry Paige not 4 u XD
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
ahaha I was offended xD I was like oh shit I didnt know I was that ugly >.< ahaha.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
believe me I was like o shit too when I saw you posted first, well I'm off to go brush teeth, take out contacts, etc. before I hit teh hay, might be back in 15 mins
Reply
riseagainst1616
| 0
no Paige ur not ugly ur hott xD
Reply
Cynical_AbInitio
| 0
Afatmonkey never fails to crack me up with his off-the-wall random comments. PURE WiN
Reply
elcayuco
| 0
ur hot and funny!
Reply
guckylynn
| 19
Paige, the funny thing about you not knowing Stephan Hocking had a wheelchair is that it was him in that family guy epidsode...
Reply
guckylynn
| 19
Wow... hawking how did I spell that wrong.
Reply
paigeatsflesh
| 11
sorry^^ I knew it was something like that I just didn't know it was him xD and thanks riseagainst(: your cute too^-^ hehe
Reply
purplemnm
| 9
no it's not, the one in FG is just some random person, but Stephan Hawking is a scientist who proved the black hole theory, he has this condition where he's paralyzed and can't speak so he has a talking wheelchair. it's cool to listen to him coz his "voice" is kinda like a smooth robot xD.
By
devonuto
| 0
you were giving him the eye weren't you? c'mon, admit it!
By
awesome1145
| 0
that's very disgusting especially if ur a dude
Reply
quikwit1212
| 0
It's a girl, it says it right up there.
Reply
BrookeTrueblood
| 0
OP is a girl, but that's still messed up.
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
brookes hot H-A-W-T! hahahaha
Reply
BrookeTrueblood
| 0
Uh, thanks creepy Internet guy (hopefully)...
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
hahaha you welcome
Reply
Thunderbender
| 2
Well to be fair, when you look as pretty as you do and post pictures on the internet you open yourself up to creepy comments like that :/
By
is300k
| 0
He probably forgets who you are and makes that same joke every day.
By
devendra_fml
| 0
well, at least he was a gentleman.
Reply
zdizzle123
| 0
yea well at least it was a guy and not a chick...
Reply
Emmmmm55
| 0
atleast nothin tht is still really bad
fyl
fyl
By
matthew33_fml
| 0
this wouldn't be an FML unless you really do have fantasies about him so YDI
By
bidoof_fml
| 0
He sounds like an awesome guy, you should have gotten his number.
Reply
Monikabug
| 9
Haha yes! Maybe he will include you in his will. :P
Reply
wrestlerbeast
| 0
"And to the hot life guard that was fantasizing about us being together I am giving her the tight speedo I was wearing the first day I met her. I would greatly appreciate it if she put it on right now." :D that'd be one amazing funeral service. anyone agree???
Reply
DGross
| 8
nice Monika... but don't get a"head" of yourself... though I'm sure the older man would enjoy that I doubt you would :-P
Reply
Monikabug
| 9
Lol! True that, Derek.
Very doubtful...
Very doubtful...
Reply
Dashelle
| 25
Ew.