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Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 March 2010 19:32 / United States
Work
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  ToxicKittieh  |  0

P. E. N. I. S. spells penis. Whats up? Confluxiation. On Venus. Lower gravitational pull, on my dick. Pull really hard and you'll get some sick shit. On your face, yes it's white, here it comes, heres the cream. Wipe it from, your face, and say nice. Whats up? Thats random. W. T. F. spells what the fuck.

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  ILoveSoda  |  0

#218 are you homophobic or something? or very closeminded? I dunno how this is a fml, sure it's akward but seeing as you can't read emotion in texts it looks like a joke.

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  JattPutt  |  0

Confidence?! Dude, I would be so scared if some old man came up to me and said something like that. That just leads to embarresment which therefore does not lead to confidence, I think. Right?

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  StoryOfTheYear  |  13

155- I was commenting on 66 saying confidence is sexy, I'm saying some chicks who need to swing their arms out and around when they walk are annoying when they have the confidence to ask me out, only to have that confidence shot down and burned

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  StoryOfTheYear  |  13

181- you and 155 fail to see the concept, said twice now, the reason they "think" they're in my league is because they have confidence, which I pointed out to 66, making it NOT sexy

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  seanreddog  |  4

I saw the concept. I just also saw you set yourself up for a jokes if you have 250 women asking you out. you're right though, confidence doesn't make someone less repulsive.

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  jasonsaied  |  1

Herbert only likes young boys

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  afatmonkey  |  0

Dean Connery said that to me once. Then he stared at the guy until he took off his clothes and made him some Mac 'N Cheese. Then he grinned and used his chest hair as a grappling hook to rise up into the clouds.

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  paigeatsflesh  |  11

the funny thing is afatmonkey doesn't k ow about this wedding. so when the day comes I'll just have to bag him and tie him up to a chair and then when he has to say I do he'll have one of those super cool wheelchairs that can talk for you and I'll pressthe little buttons to make it say "I do" and then at the honey moon when were having sex we can do it family guy style "oh oh baby" "yeah I like that"

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  StoryOfTheYear  |  13

you by chance seen the bid (dunno if it's a movie or not) where there is a guy in one of those chairs who's a perve, it's funny cuz it says it in that monotone computer voice lol

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  paigeatsflesh  |  11

ahahaha no I have never seen it xD but I watched the family guy episode where he was like dint make me hit you and then he rams his wife with his wheel chair and then he goes you know I don't like to hurt you. aahahahaha then they have make up sex with there computer voicesxD it's so funny

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  paigeatsflesh  |  11

he has one?! :D score I'm gonna go ask him. and yeah south park is pretty funny. I don't wath it a lot though. I've only seen the one wherre everyone ignores that fat kid and the one where there in a bad er something. and the one where that fat kid goes to fat camp. hahaha

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  purplemnm  |  9

no it's not, the one in FG is just some random person, but Stephan Hawking is a scientist who proved the black hole theory, he has this condition where he's paralyzed and can't speak so he has a talking wheelchair. it's cool to listen to him coz his "voice" is kinda like a smooth robot xD.

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  wrestlerbeast  |  0

"And to the hot life guard that was fantasizing about us being together I am giving her the tight speedo I was wearing the first day I met her. I would greatly appreciate it if she put it on right now." :D that'd be one amazing funeral service. anyone agree???

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