Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Your mom should be happy it's only the computer that "keeps getting viruses". And Ken, that little ****! He's now with a Bratz doll? Wait until Barbie hears about this!
catalystics 2
anti viruses dang autocorrect
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Comments (143)
klynhunter 0
not mine, cause we do that!
bbReal 0
lolololololololol!!!
tucansam555 3
ahhhhh thats awesome
sarah48_fml 0
I would never do ****-ever. sorry!
ninjanate 0
I look at **** and I don't get viruses.
iGreen_Day 0
**** is not something you 'do'. op, don't be stupid. use streaming sites, not downloads. youporn, redtube, pornhub... i'm a girl too btw
jsbgriffin 0
That is amazing :L
Aoife_ckyou 0
utterlyabsurd, I think you should learn when to shut up
sabroso 0
dont use your parents computer you to jerk it.
alexFYL 11
It's odd how your mom assumed it was you, as opposed to your father or maybe your brother. She's probably in denial. If not, seriously, wtf... learn some smarter browsing techniques and download a darn antivirus. I have never had a virus from pr0n.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Or, y'know, there aren't any men in the house. -_-
alexFYL 11
Possible, but statistically there are usually men in a household.
byefelicia1992 8
175- stop going on Craigslist for statistics