Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Awkward
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Now watching
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
MILF
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML
Red Right Hand
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Your mom should be happy it's only the computer that "keeps getting viruses". And Ken, that little ****! He's now with a Bratz doll? Wait until Barbie hears about this!
catalystics 2
anti viruses dang autocorrect
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Comments (143)
Quest_ 13
What?! Girls have the capacity to feel sexual desire and seek sexual fulfillment for themselves? And their sexuality is NOT limited to gratifying men?! Whoa.
KVloveBC 0
my best friend loves hentai!
Illyssa_fml 4
Lol!! what kind of **** are you looking at??? Fail!!
vivek585 5
OMG, that is sooo funny! Wow your mom is effin hilarious! :-D Fortunately, my mom don't even know to use a computer so I'm all good. ;-)
berg54 0
Your mom = epic. I hope I can be that creative one day. Fyl though, be smarter about your **** habits and use reliable sources that won't give your computer the HIV.
DVecc 0
******* stupid old people not knowing how to protect their computers, no wonder half the world is changing to overpriced crappy macs, they don't have the iq to download a simple virus software
RedPillSucks 33
Failure. It's not the old person that's having the problem, it's the younger daughter.
Serec 0
Agreed, 69. And I am a girl and I love hentai, yaoi, ad eve yuri... OH GOD.
macskapingvin 0
Epic win from your mum. She has a point, too. **** saps the imagination and dulls the mystique. And girls have more ways to stimulate themselves than guys, there's no real need to watch ****.
macskapingvin 0
Just to clarify, not that there is anything wrong with **** per se - I'm no prude - but usng your imagination to ********** is better for your mind.
alexFYL 11
I don't know what world you live in, but **** spices up my bedroom life. I'm a woman and I have issues having an ****** (without my vibrator, that thing would get the job done even if my cat was just run over by a car and my mom died), and replaying scenes from **** in my mind helps me get to the finish line. In fact when I haven't looked at **** or read erotica in awhile, my orgasmic sex-life starts to faulter. I enjoy the motions but I can't finish. And I am more than a little certain I am not the only woman like this in the world, considering I got the advice off a sexual health site for women many years ago.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Hopefully you guys all know that there is such a thing as **** addiction. I personally don't think you should need **** every time; if you WANT to watch it every time, that's your prerogative. If it gets to the point that you NEED it to get off, that's a problem. I can research it for you if you'd like a more... professional input.
alexFYL 11
I'm pretty sure I am more aware of my own sexual health than someone on the internet. Thanks but no thanks. A lot of females have issues orgasming. It's partially a physical thing and usually an emotional baggage thing. Women just need "more" in bed than men do, that "more" is something different from woman to woman - more physical stimulation (g-spot? Clitoral? Stroking more erogenous zones? Nipple play?), more mental stimulation (****, erotica, or a nice conversation), sometimes it's a secure and safe relationship (i.e. pretty much not one night stands). There's also a lot more to **** addiction than requiring **** when you have sex... if you have sex at all.
5t3ff1k4h 47
That's complete bullshit. Women don't need "more" in bed than men. Some men need more than women! Some men need more physical than visual to become aroused. Some women prefer more visual than physical. Some men/women prefer to read erotica, while some don't. Some men absolutely hate **** and wouldn't use it as a visual, some don't. Some women like ****, some don't. That being said, my point is still a very valid one. I'm not saying you're the only one with issues reaching ******. Of course I know there are many women out there with that issue. I used to be one; that also being said, I know that not everyone's issues reaching ****** can be solved as easily as mine were. What I am saying is that it's not normal nor is it healthy to be dependent on something other than your partner or yourself to reach a single ******. You shouldn't need books/videos/whatever to get yourself off EVERY TIME. Sometimes is normal. Replacing sex and/or foreplay with the aforementioned (among other things) is not.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I didn't say it's not healthy to use outside things (ie ****, toys) to assist getting to ******. Rather, I said it's unhealthy to use it ALL THE TIME. Please read my comments. On another note, if you don't like what I said, don't read it. I'm entitled to my opinion, and I don't really give a hoot if you're complaining about what I'm saying. It may not be my place, but I've already said it and I'm simply explaining what my doctor has already explained, years ago. She doesn't have to listen to me, but I'm still allowed to say it.
gr8koolkat 6
Did you know that psychiatrists/scientists/researchers say that you are only addicted to **** if you watch it 22+ hours a DAY. how bullshit is that? haha sorry just thought I'd lighten the mood :)
TeenieAmerica 9
Your mom wins. Learn how to surf for **** without getting viruses. It's not that hard.
aidensmom419 0
hey go to youporn.com. it just like YouTube but with ****. you won't get any viruses from that site garuantee it.