Porn, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll...

By sydysyd - 21/11/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 480

You deserved it 54 058

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 450

You deserved it 88 374

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 710

You deserved it 45 187

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 269

You deserved it 51 632

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 319

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 587

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 158

You deserved it 564

By StupidBerk - 17/09/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 610

You deserved it 3 152

Red Right Hand

By Hollerz90 - 02/04/2020 23:00

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 203

By Noname - 06/02/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 735

You deserved it 52 755

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 685

You deserved it 50 378

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 November 2010 9:06

Your mom should be happy it's only the computer that "keeps getting viruses". And Ken, that little ****! He's now with a Bratz doll? Wait until Barbie hears about this!

catalystics 2

Monday 22 November 2010 9:06

anti viruses dang autocorrect

Comments

Aoife_ckyou 0

Monday 22 November 2010 19:51

oh and I did post this before but it didn't show so forgive if its a double post. I'm pretty sure Sarah meant she'd never 'do' **** meaning to star in a **** film, so yes **** is something you 'do'.

Aoife_ckyou 0

Monday 22 November 2010 19:55

I'm a girl. I watch ****. but I watch not download and I've never had a problem with viruses. stay away from 1,00,000kb files, get anti-virus and you'll be fine. also, this is probably the same girl that got told by her doctor that she masturbates so much she dried out her ****** and thought the rash was an STI. just saying.

hawtstuff92 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 0:48

haha ya :) i'm gonna get a rash Soon, I do it so much it's crazy.

Aoife_ckyou 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 18:55

moisturise moisturise moisturise

kylehunter 0

Monday 22 November 2010 20:21

have u?

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 22 November 2010 21:09

I'd recommend FireFox in Private Browsing mode, with AdAware, Spyware Blaster and Spybot Search and Destroy installed (all free). Oh, and ask your mom if she has a My Little Pony doll, as Ken just isn't satisfying Bratz like she needs, mkay?

sarah48_fml 0

Monday 22 November 2010 22:08

#32 read the earlier comments. they said I should be a in a porno.. I would never do ****- it makes sense..

YounqNPaiid 0

Monday 22 November 2010 22:09

Isnt Iht Suppose T2 Be Barbie And Ken ?! iiBet Barbiee Isz Pissed Cuz Bratz Stole Her Man ! >.< As For Yhurr Situationn -- iiReallyy Dont Know Whut T2 Sayy ! =P