Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
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Top comments
wannabesinger 16
Can you blame him? His parents probably taught him well not to talk to strangers, and here you get all up in his face. If I was him, I would've freaked out and kicked you, too. It's a shame that we have to warn our kids about things like this, but that's just how it is
justmyluck1212 0
kids aren't always sweet peaches.. FYL
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Comments (99)
AshleyRose784 0
smart kid, you're a stranger
fuckedlikeaho 0
why? what's wrong with his crotch?
leMeepO_o 0
Desperate need of Pedobear lessons.
laprincessa 0
hell yes (: sa rocks haha :D
DasHaas 9
Gotta love where this world is coming to. (More in reply to the other comments then the opening post... the kid might've just been a little brat, but considering the general opinion of people here, I doubt it.)
wingedspiritus 0
zomg Pedobear does not approve. Lack of skill, doood.
wd40 0
Pedophile much?
caitastrophe 0
stranger danger!!
foXiekatt 0
i'd say u'r a nice fellow... but maybe put ur thoughtfullness on others things that r worth it. such as on ur kids or wife/gf... etc.
Intoxicunt 6
On the bright side, I'd say you probably made his day. I would be much happier if someone let me kick them in the balls.
plexico 4
Maybe. If it's followed by a blumpkin.
Intoxicunt 6
I wonder who came up with the blumpkin idea, and what was wrong with them... I don't know, I think a good kick to some unsuspecting person's groin would do it for me. OP: To be on the safe side, though, you need to take him back to your ranch. Hey, someone has to do it since Michael Jackson bit the dust!
funnyduck0 0
LOL