Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
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Top comments
teehee520 0
Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.
narwhalz 0
Just imagine what he can do with those hands!
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Comments (131)
youswallow 2
hahahah
hk_fml 9
Ewwww. I wonder how you make an origami ******.. xD so awkward
xClarkGable 0
wow, 10. Really? You have no idea if they're big, and even if they are, that doesn't mean they won't get any. Not all guys are shallow *****. OP: ydi for going out and assuming you'd have sex with a stranger.
lifesucks5 0
o.o
nwc020 0
old man FTW
bosco_kk 0
Lol, at least you know you are pretty.
bosco_kk 0
At least you know you are pretty...or told you are pretty. I know people who haven't been complimented on anything in their whole lives. And you have something most people don't: An origami ******! lol
trooper14 0
could be worse he just gave you pussy he could and tried to get yours
irishfever 0
@25 giving us your dating profile? o.0
fml_fiend91 0
well atleast you can brag talented men like you, ha ha #8