Love, Animals, Dogs, My ex and Insulting: Good riddance - FML

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 16:00

Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 159

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Same thing different taste

Goblin mode

By WELLFUCKYOUTOO - 14/08/2012 15:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 575

You deserved it 2 333

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 950

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 2 890

By hopeless romantic - 14/08/2014 15:06 - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 167

You deserved it 5 542

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 4 796

Good boy

By doggylove - 13/11/2015 03:57 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 2 225

By really? - 23/09/2013 02:24 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 084

You deserved it 4 407

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 05:49 - United States

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 627

You deserved it 8 510

By random person - 13/11/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 518

You deserved it 62 370

By fucking hate bitches - 24/12/2016 21:27

Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 844

You deserved it 1 706

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 February 2023 21:01

Your dog is sending you grammatically correct insults by the dozen? Are you sure he's not using ChatGPT to help?

49_Donuts 13

Sunday 5 February 2023 17:29

Why is your ex not blocked?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 5 February 2023 16:11

Is your dog free to teach a class at summer school this year? My nephew is a dumbass.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Sunday 5 February 2023 16:14

Block your ex.

49_Donuts 13

Sunday 5 February 2023 17:29

Why is your ex not blocked?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 February 2023 21:01

Your dog is sending you grammatically correct insults by the dozen? Are you sure he's not using ChatGPT to help?

poopface82 19

Monday 6 February 2023 2:35

At least you got out before you ended up having to mutter, “I married her?” every time you interact with her. Which you’re forced to. Because you have children together. At least I hope that’s true.

Keywords

Health Money Kids You're fired Christmas Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Love Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 988

You deserved it 7 213

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 434

You deserved it 5 535

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 103

You deserved it 5 877

Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 198

Today, my drunk neighbor informed me that if I don't keep my skunk out of his yard, he's going to call the cops. I live in town, and it's a wild skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 102

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 492

You deserved it 18 787