Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
teehee520 0
Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.
narwhalz 0
Just imagine what he can do with those hands!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
teehee520 0
Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.
Daft_Punk709 0
How the **** do you make an origami ******?! I want to know!
kissmygeass 2
ikr?
ohhhhshizzz 0
Creepy much, try to look for a better bar. Hell skip the bar all together, and go to clubs. They are a lot better, I don't think too many 50 year old guys will be hanging out there.
sourpatchbitch 0
uh wow, thats just ****** up. agree with #2.
nammz 0
that 50 year old has skills. i mean, an oragami ******? that's pretty freakin awesome
narwhalz 0
Just imagine what he can do with those hands!
AmberHall 2
Agree with #2 skip the bars, try the clubs if all you are looking for is action Also bear in mind that three women standing together, having a giggle etc, is actually quite intimidating to a lot of men, who don't really want to risk being turned down in front of a group and having to hear the laughs as his walks away
vent_fml 0
YDI for having higher expectations.
shananigans 0
I think the real question here is, which one of you kept the origami vajayjay?
Jordna 0
I agree XD
maichido 0
That's just... No comment.
whatitduz23 0
haa fat chicks at their best
bugmenotmofo 34
How do you know they're fat?