Love, Intimacy and Sex: Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action...

By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 221

You deserved it 5 670

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 179

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 286

You deserved it 6 645

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 197

You deserved it 21 673

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 4 525

By awkward23 - 12/01/2010 10:26 - United States

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 990

You deserved it 42 549

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 3 271

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 937

You deserved it 2 349

Fair Warning

By TheNoseKnows - 16/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 899

You deserved it 2 604

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 245

You deserved it 5 916

teehee520 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:47

Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.

narwhalz 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:52

Just imagine what he can do with those hands!

Comments

elcaguy 0

Monday 1 June 2009 7:23

Maybe you looked stuck up. A lot girls usually think ur the shi*. Maybe you deserve it, or I can completely be wrong but that must take some skill to do. Come on, you must have been a lil impressed.

Equinox987 0

Monday 1 June 2009 7:23

Today I went to the bar and I didn't get even 1 oragami ******. FML!

mezeek 1

Monday 1 June 2009 7:40

YDI for going to a bar where 50 yr olds hang out

xxmsp91 0

Monday 1 June 2009 7:56

u guys must be ugly

lawlkat 0

Monday 1 June 2009 8:43

YDI it for searching for sex. Getting ****** isn't an accomplishment any more.

trapiadora 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:14

Its creepy but funny at the sametime. I would have said thanks. Just beacuase they didn't get no action doesn't mean thier fat.

PyroMicky 0

Monday 1 June 2009 10:37

If that guy can make a ****** out of paper, what does he need the bar for, anyway?

microfilms 0

Monday 1 June 2009 10:38

i would buy that man a drink

Indiana_fml 4

Monday 1 June 2009 10:51

I love Origami since my very childhood days, but it never came to me to make a paper ******. Luckily, there is the internet. Someone has not only made a YouTube-instruction video it, but even published a book: "Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults"