Love and School: Today, I was doing a PowerPoint presentation in front of my whole... - FML

By notyouraverage

Today, I was doing a PowerPoint presentation in front of my whole class, when I accidentally clicked on the folder that has zillions of pictures of my crush. He's one of my classmates. FML

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Understandable

Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Optimism

By hahahano - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

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By achtung - United States

Noise machine

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

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By varsity soccer player - United States

Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML

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By come on man - United States - Sunnyvale

It's the thought that counts

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

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By seachelle

Today, the guy I've been seeing posted about having relationship problems and arguments with his girl. I've been in the hospital for surgery for the past few days and have been unable to talk to him. Before this, he told me I was the only one. Guess not. FML

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By Sadness - United States - Atlanta

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

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By Bro

Today, I found out that my wife of five years is also my half-sister. She has no idea, I don't know how to tell her, and I've never been more turned on. FML

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By Me - United States - Homer Glen

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

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By CassieMarieee - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

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By dirtyfoot - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

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By chacha_bby - United States

Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

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By Adopted

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

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By jsalmons - Germany

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

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By flowerfail - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

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By anon

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

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By dmvsucks - United States

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

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By "schober60" - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I frantically finished a paper that I needed to complete before midnight about the competencies of my pharmacy school. When it came time to submit, I accidentally selected the file below my paper, which was my personal log of beer reviews and personal favorites. FML

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By phansmootchie - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

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By guy - United States

Today, my entire family came over for Thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fistfight and only one cop car was called. FML

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By Neversleepingthereagain - United States - Manchester

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

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By

The vigil

Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel and I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go, and she showed me a Pic of my car outside his hotel... FML

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By Grandmas lost it - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

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By buggermonster - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

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By James C - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

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By

Beautiful car

Today, I sold my wife's old car because I bought her a newer and nicer one. On the way back home from the sale, the transmission went out in her new one. FML

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By rob

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I'd kissed another girl five days before we got together. She told me, "That's OK, I slept with my boss last week." FML

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By Freelman - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

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By blahhhh - United States

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

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By silenceisgolden - 23/3/2020 01:39

Train guy

Today, a guy on the train was using his phone really loudly, asking Siri to call a bunch of people, or using voice command to do the most menial things. He was really, really noisy. It's only after I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to be quieter that I noticed the white cane next to him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

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By HassledAirfarer - United States

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Trenton

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

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By best breast

Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

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By Che_likes_you - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

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By Pissed - United States - Newton Center

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

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By allgassedout - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

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Top comments

By MidnaLink | 32

#7618556 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:05

Yeah, you sound WAY too creepy.

By Zekfen | 17

#7618561 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:17

As long as you didn’t mention your shrine in your bed room the embarrassment will die down in a few years

COMMENTS

By MidnaLink | 32

#7618556 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:05

Yeah, you sound WAY too creepy.

By Victoria Juan | 5

#7618557 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:07

super creeper status...

By Zekfen | 17

#7618561 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:17

As long as you didn’t mention your shrine in your bed room the embarrassment will die down in a few years

By chels0792 | 6

#7618562 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:18

Wow, that's really not okay.

By manb91uk | 22

#7618563 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:24

Couldn't you have just favoured his Instagram profile like every other 21st Century stalker?

By RipperoniPizza | 19

#7618564 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:25

I would be terrified if I was him honestly.

By SwordSlashBlade | 13

#7618569 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 19:44

I have no idea how one “accidentally” double clicks a folder DURING a PowerPoint presentation, but sure ... why not ... “accidentally.”

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7618578 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 20:07

Start expecting a restraining order in the mail soon.

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7618583 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 20:17

That's not creepy at all.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7618584 - Tuesday 3 April 2018 20:17

Try desperately to pass it off as part of your PowerPoint presentation--otherwise, I'd delete that folder immediately.