Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poop. FML
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 34
If you don't have the common sense not to flush a condom, you should not be having sex and running the risk of reproducing
flashback.miss 28
pity whoever has to clean that up. who told you it was a good idea to flush condoms?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
JessBassett 24
I'm sorry but if you don't know how to properly dispose of a condom I wouldn't think you're old enough to use one..
onlychildFTW 33
I've noticed sex seems to start younger and younger.
kak_999999999 12
Really? Because in the 1800's it was normal to have babies at 14 or 15 years old...if anything the age is going up...
SpcNemo 10
And somehow that makes it okay for kids who certainly aren't emotionally or fiscally prepared for children to be having sex, much less having them. Yep. Seems legit. Hey guys I think I'm gonna just go kill people for not believing what I believe now too! What? They did it during the crusades! Dumb.
Jelbeztok 17
#64 *physically and the age when most people had kids was around 14 and 15 until about the 70s too. most women had a kid before 20.
frizz101 22
The difference from then and now was that kids were expected to have kids and were expected to mature much faster. With the way kids are coddled now it wouldn't surprise me if 13 year olds in the past were leaps and bounds more mature than a 13 year old today.
just_jess7 13
#78 I'm pretty sure #64 meant fiscally. Not physically. As in financially prepared.
ItsATwinThing 9
#87 granted they were meant to grow up faster but that's because it was the norm to be married young. Plus everything is much harder now, more expensive. It's harder for young people to leave home knowing that they'll actually be able to afford a house.
Llama_Face89 33
58- people were also dying at age 40 back then.
Mauskau 35
Seeing as OP is in India which has a population soon to overtake China, their sex education is probably not very good hence the lack of knowledge of how to dispose of them.
stargirl_95 24
People were NOT purposely having kids at 14 and 15 until the 70s. That is a crock of shit. I believe that the average age women were when they started having children was either 20 or 21 after WW2 (which in case you didn't know was post 1945). In fact, women who had babies at 14/15 were more likely to end up in a maternity home where they were forced to give their babies up for adoption than anything else.
pati_k 1
and it was also normal to die pretty young...thats why women reproduced earlier
LostMy_Marbles 24
The reason 14/15 year olds were having babies at such a young age centuries ago was because their life expectancy was severely low so they often left school before their teens and were married off quickly. I would also like to ask if you (#58) know the survival rate of these teens giving birth at that age in the 1800's?
skipper2009 18
Why not just throw the condoms away like normal people? Wrap them in something throw them away. Plain and simple.
GingerRoot 13
His parents will be checking his garbage now...
MeetTheMedic 6
What a crappy situation. Your girlfriend's face must have flushed when she heard what happened. Sucks that you got busted by a shitty sewage pipe. Best you can do is just go with the flow.
Rallred32 20
That one was actually funny
mcrepas 19
I personally enjoy puns, but for the fml community, most should be avoided due to lack of originality. For this one, however, it was original, I'll give him that much.
142_cats 13
At least this isn't as shit as those other puns.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Well, if it was the condom blockage that caused it, I hope you're paying for it t!
myind_yabiness 13
You couldn't just wrap the condom with toilet paper & throw it in the trash.
Comoke1024 19
Well, now you know not to flush condoms! I hope your parents understand that you were at least trying to be safe, though. Good luck, OP!
by4x4 4
Why would you flush the condom idiot
MortenM 17
Agree. It could be washed and used again
bugfroggy 16
#92 - bring it to a party and use it as a balloon.
speakersboom 19
or use them as socks and race your friend across the tiles.
PenguinBitch 43
So your house's water broke.
ViviMage 39
Better that than the girlfirend's!
Brianna_Ray 23
YDI. Not suppose to flush condoms.
breakinlegs 19
How old are you? either way they should be happy you are using condoms. kids are going to mess around and they should realize that. Your father should have told you about proper condom disposal!