Username
United States
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Ouchhh
United States
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Anonymous
Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML
thanksdad
Dublin, Ireland
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
TheSublime
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
yomamma787
United States
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
dogpatch087
Ventura, United States
Shout the victory
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Anon
United States
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
romea244
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Reflex
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Top comments
GigaB 0
don't sleep under a cactus?
redbluegreen 41
Faceplant.
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Comments (261)
elusive98 0
ownt
iilovecokee 6
I hope you're not one of those people who sleeps with their eyes open.
guitardude728 9
And who was it that decided it as a good idea to sleep under a cactus? you. its your fault, your jist dumb.
samikitty961 8
some types of cacti are soft and fluffy you know. if you like to have cacti over your bed, maybe you should consider getting a more friendly one.
DrTexas 0
Try sleeoing next to a power plant. it's safer!
daemian666 1
New definitions 2 the phrases "super poke" and "holier then thou"
koolman222 0
well, move the catus and ydi
maphineRAWRS 10
I'm sorry, all I can say is HAHA :)
tcrunit 0
damn your cactus attacked you
Rosehart 10
free acupuncture! =D