Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML
Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML
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Top comments
elinhjortskull 7
He's sexy and he knows it.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well, at least it's been a memorable year.
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Comments (139)
perdix 31
And 2012 started with a bang as he let you rub the oil on the parts of his hairy back where he can't reach by himself. Auld land syne, I'll say!
Rabidkid 14
Did you baste him like a chicken?
sincerelyjay 13
Don't all uncles do this?
sjhill 32
It's a good moisturiser. There's nothing like trying to bury a memory before the New Year :P
arw31089 2
Epic
chels1994 11
I don't think I could bring myself to stare at my drunk naked uncle...
klong91 7
Great way to end the year!
hateevryone 15
why were you staring? why didn't you walk away?
cynicaloptimist 3
whatever works for u !
Gil2112 0
Eesh, bad acne for him..