Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly...

By SAM - United States

Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML

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3118

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Kids

Geek

Oh, he's a "Nice Guy"

For the life of him indeed

Zoomers zooming

By waterspike - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32692

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9907

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By computergeek - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41235

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2423

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By kenabrookee - United States - Northridge

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43879

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14688

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By Anonymous

Today, unbeknownst to me, my wife cancelled our airplane tickets because she didn't want to face her fear of flying like we had agreed. Now, we're going to have to take another week off so I can drive 3000 miles cross country, while she sleeps in the shotgun seat because her licence expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5171

You deserved it

525

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By anonymous - United States

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28947

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27562

You deserved it

8607

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By shaifox96 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26837

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By Henji - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15935

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41212

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By Anonymous - 4/11/2020 17:02

Boozehound

Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML

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1214

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By not getting laid - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24026

You deserved it

90576

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By Hairball - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22383

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403424

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By Loser

Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jumped off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1556

You deserved it

4231

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By Anonymous - 19/4/2020 08:00

Age ain't nothing but a number

Today, I was asked for ID to purchase decorative scissors. I was buying them to make my wedding decorations. FML

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1349

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158

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By ??? - 19/7/2020 05:01

Double crossed

Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2204

You deserved it

141

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By MarBlu - United States

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47537

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16392

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By Awkward - Bahrain

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11947

You deserved it

31818

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By CasperTheFriendlyGhost - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11600

You deserved it

1292

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By Anonymous

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1637

You deserved it

128

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By brokeasajoke - United States

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

I agree, your life sucks

35438

You deserved it

3271

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By Anonymous - United States - Gurnee

Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21009

You deserved it

1844

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By anonymous - United States - Crossville

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14126

You deserved it

1009

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By Nutless - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

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62425

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12399

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By Anonymous - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37516

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By Anonymous - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26820

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4998

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By MeAgainDr... - Australia - South Perth

Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26296

You deserved it

2163

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By littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27295

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2124

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By unattractive - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

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32438

You deserved it

6337

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By Erin - United States

Today, I fell asleep in English and drooled on my test. Evidently everyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8346

You deserved it

20562

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By retail can shart a cock - United States

Today, a customer's credit card was declined. His totally reasonable reaction was to threaten to put a bullet in the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22751

You deserved it

1292

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By KelseNM - 5/7/2020 14:02

Just No

Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is December 19, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2216

You deserved it

155

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By TeachAllTheMath

Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “Don’t ever watch Two Girls, One Cup. Trust me.” While I appreciate the advice, I am dreading the phone call home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3717

You deserved it

275

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By Habit - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

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26663

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9956

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

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39454

You deserved it

3043

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By Username - United States

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47874

You deserved it

4708

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By 751920 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33991

You deserved it

3301

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By wookieewhosshe - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2003

You deserved it

349

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By Anonymous - United States - Needles

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

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39141

You deserved it

8882

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By TubaAssassin

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4764

You deserved it

274

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By moronforadad - United Kingdom - Carshalton

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21705

You deserved it

6417

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By popemichael - United States

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

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16008

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7671900 - Sunday 5 August 2018 16:20

I’m guessing the photo’s file format was JIF?

By Charlie Given | 23

#7671936 - Sunday 5 August 2018 17:35

Was there a pic of Mom drunk and covered in jelly🤣🤣 nothing better than a PB&J😂

COMMENTS

By joeyl1990 | 28

#7671876 - Sunday 5 August 2018 15:04

I understand the drunk, naked, smiling part but why the peanut butter?

Dave_Davington | 33

#7671887 - Sunday 5 August 2018 15:41

It's basic decency to use peanut butter in such a situation. Really now, what are you, some kind of animal?

Abbusser | 9

#7671983 - Sunday 5 August 2018 19:42

Just make sure it's chunky. Creamy would be sick...

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7671898 - Sunday 5 August 2018 16:17

Dad was determined to find out just how much the dog really liked peanut butter.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7671900 - Sunday 5 August 2018 16:20

I’m guessing the photo’s file format was JIF?

By _Hakuna_Matata_ | 12

#7671919 - Sunday 5 August 2018 17:03

Plot twist, His father wanted him to see his wild side.

By Charlie Given | 23

#7671936 - Sunday 5 August 2018 17:35

Was there a pic of Mom drunk and covered in jelly🤣🤣 nothing better than a PB&J😂

blightsight | 10

#7671981 - Sunday 5 August 2018 19:33

Except maybe a BJ

interesting33 | 36

#7672069 - Monday 6 August 2018 3:14

I was so gonna comment that! great minds. great comment

jkjorn | 15

#7672271 - Monday 6 August 2018 15:36

That would be a P&BJ!

By Warmonger_Smurf | 29

#7672005 - Sunday 5 August 2018 20:27

Well played Dad, well played.

By Danielle Zion Gadsden | 14

#7672019 - Sunday 5 August 2018 21:35

I guess I'm the only one that would have asked my dad about the story. Cause there is an epic story behind that pic.

By FishyFishy | 12

#7672021 - Sunday 5 August 2018 22:11

He wasn't naked.... he has on peanut butter.

By Lalala579121 | 27

#7672036 - Sunday 5 August 2018 23:20

Was he with your wife?

By PhoenixChick | 26

#7672056 - Monday 6 August 2018 1:41

Creamy or chunky, that peanut butter had nuts in it