Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
Today, I excitedly started my first university psychology course. Enthusiastic and ready to learn, I listened as my teacher introduced himself. Turns out he's a major transphobe, who is in cahoots with the likes of Jordan Peterson and Ray Blanchard. Only 12 weeks to go. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
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Top comments
EpicPear 0
"Hi! My name is Bob and I torture animals! Nice to meet you!"
ancora 1
Future serial killer in the making? I'm probably watching too many crime dramas, but supposedly that doesn't bode well.
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Comments (88)
therealdavid 0
*Bud um tss*
chelle_starlight 0
he is either crazy or he is really bad at making pick-up lines...
maybaybe 0
Yep, your life definitely sucks :(
IHeartJimi02 0
Why would someone admit something like that to a person he doesn't even know?
maybaybe 0
Because he's a lunatic.
SirEBC 7
Hello Kristine. :P
lovexbox 8
Who the **** is Kristine?
I_R_Genius 3
Lol more like , "Hellooo.... Clarice." (hope I speller that right.)
I_R_Genius 3
spelled*. Going to bed now, no more staying up till 3 am to read FML.
FFML_314 12
You speller that great! *Hands over cookie*
Mjcino 0
It's awful that he did that, but it doesn't mean that he still does or that he never felt any remorse.
alwa7sh 2
Unless you have a tail, your fine. Maybe it was a hint, he like it rough ;)
dezinspaaace 0
D: try to sit as far away from him as possible! u never know, it was probably to early stages of psychoness...
sourgirl101 29
Ask the teacher (in secret) if you could move seats before your dirty looks makes him want to treat you like an animal.
CallMeHush 1
Study Buddy!!!