Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
Today, I excitedly started my first university psychology course. Enthusiastic and ready to learn, I listened as my teacher introduced himself. Turns out he's a major transphobe, who is in cahoots with the likes of Jordan Peterson and Ray Blanchard. Only 12 weeks to go. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
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Top comments
EpicPear 0
"Hi! My name is Bob and I torture animals! Nice to meet you!"
ancora 1
Future serial killer in the making? I'm probably watching too many crime dramas, but supposedly that doesn't bode well.
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Comments (88)
babygrl6534 0
lol physo
perdix 31
Are you kidding? It's going to be an EASY semester! Instead of reading dry descriptions of mental disorders, you're sitting right next to a real, live psychopath. Ask him if he likes playing with fire, too. If so, you are going to cruise to an easy A, just as long as you don't get Bound, Tortured and Killed before the final. Oh, yeah, he ADMITS to torturing animals as a child, but he's concealing that he's still doing it. Sleep tight!
trogdoorknob 0
Playing with fire is fun, go frolic through a field of dicks.
tygerarmy 35
Playing with fire is about as innocent as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field. That said as long as he is still not torturing animals you're fine, unless it's only 'cause he moved on to people.
dirtherder 1
and what of those who choose to spend their lives in pyrotechnics? most psychological theories are just that. THEORIES.
davidjr_saldana 0
sounds like a winner he is a definate study partner lol
RinnieRiot 9
Strange child.
afdude87 6
omg 1.. youre so clever. where'd you learn stuff from?!
DanniNell 13
I sat next to this one guy in psychology junior year. He was shorter then Snooki and looked like that goat dude from Narnia but with lighter hair and a lighter beard. He seemed nice so I befriended him. Then he would like pop out of nowhere and follow me around. I had a creepy feeling about him and said the friendship was off. Then he said something about going to college and that a relationship wouldn't work out between us and I was WTF!! I have no interest in you!! I told my cousin about him and how he creeped me out. she asked me how he looked and I described him and she guessed his name and grade and I was like how do you know? and she told me that he raped a girl. That freaked me out even more!! I also remember once in class me mentioned something about his temper.
FFML_314 12
I don't know about 1, but I learned it all in Stuff School.
miniTOFU 0
I'd sit as far away from him as possible.
IWIWP 3
He USED to torture animals, It's not like he's going for human beings. Plus, he admitted it and probably know it was wrong.. Leave him alone. ha ha
Saluton 18
YDI for complaining about it here.
muchagente 5
come to think it, lots of people i knew as a kid tortured animals, from shooting frogs with bow and arrows to cutting and re-gluing rainworms. none of them has become a serial killer, as far as i know. children are cruel, and admitting that you have been cruel as a child is not the worst you can do. or is he proud of it?
FFML_314 12
BAHAHAHAHA! I truly hope I'm not the only one that finds you hilarious.
rattusrattus 19
Um, I never tortured animals as a child. I once put salt round the shed to keep the slugs away from mum's plants, but she asked me to do that.