Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML
Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
BSUbombshell 0
I'm working on the weight loss (although I blame the horizontal stripes on that shirt) Getting pregnant is not an option as a full-time college student with 2 jobs.
mizled 0
#18 shut up. I have chunky friends with great skin. Get over yourself ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (42)
Juanderfull 0
lmao... Casanova is probbly some a)stuck up bitch. b) some skinny as shallow bastard. c) an anorexic stuck up bitch. or d) all the above. haha fat girls need lovin too. lmao casanova your pathetic ass makes me laugh...
marleytooyou 0
I agree with ya
Masta_Blasta 0
YDI for eating too many doughnuts.
lich_fml 0
aw i'm sorry ha. the sales people here are ridiculous.. they hit on you and stare.
FYLkid 0
So stop eating so many donuts O_o Or whatever it is you're eating that is making you fat
SICEM88 0
If there's time to go to the mall, there's time to get pregnant.
indianabummer 0
pfft don't worry about those guys, they are ...very obtuse. One asked me and my "brother" to come over to talk about our hand treatments we used on our nails. The "brother" was my fiance and we were holding hands and kissing every so often as we walked along.
KiwiGrimm 0
Ew I hate those guys! Is it at the Greenwood Mall? There's a shit ton of those bastards there.
BSUbombshell 0
#29 Close, Castleton.
indianabummer 0
Actually it was lol I hate when they just grab you and tow you to their booths
loveyahun 0
Ma'am, it appears you have just been epicly dissed.
waywick 0
hilarious! quit being fat and you'll quit being mistaken for a pregnant fatty!