Anonymous
United States
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
muffintop
Canada
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
jennyygrace
United States
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
GothicbunnyxC
Canada
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
thebickster
United States
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
sufia
Pakistan
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
androgynous
United States
TSA
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
missy
United States
Never joke with TSA
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
atang
United States
Smugglers unite
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Anonymous
United States
How much?
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
A continent away
Tallinn, Estonia
Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML
Top comments
ArtIsResistance7 1
Time to do some good ol' fashion exercise... Put your hands up to the ceiling, bend your knees, and touch your toes. Do your daily exercises, you're gonna look like skin and bone. :)
Monado 0
Were you too big to fit through the metal detector too?
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Comments (202)
Lingonberry668 0
wats p90x????
onnielief 4
Try google you lazy sob. http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/best_sellers/p90x.do?tnt=P90X_SHAKE_B2&code=P90XDOTCOM
chungy92 5
did you get fat taxed?
golfpro908 0
lose weight?
fatman1970 25
I'm calling FAKE on this. Maybe it's different in the US, but here in the UK, a male guard does not pat down a female in case they get sued for sexual assult. I know, I've been a security guard for 17 years.
NeSsAlOvE822 0
um ew!
Gofrieddough12 5
time for some sit ups and push ups
BallinJ 0
ydi fatty
tyler_420 0
Ydi for being fat
emilyk123 0
then lose some weight fatty
emilyk123 0
130 your not supposed 2 b writing a novel here