Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
That's when you kick him in the balls and tell him that's how men lose the ability to have children.
brainymes 30
That's where you say, "your face is the reason plastic surgery was invented."
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Comments (75)
peterubino 2
Lmfao that was funny as hell. But very very rude none the less. You better have made her pay for her own meal. xD
courtz94 24
People like this seriously irritate me. OP, ignore this asshole.
Omniprism 14
Wtf! What an asshole. I would have left right then and there. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't let that dick bring you down. You deserve much better than him.
Futacy 29
Just wait until you get in the bedroom and as soon as he unzips his pants, start laughing hysterically.
projectem7 14
Butterface
Akatsuki_Sasori 7
UGH. It seems that whenever people start a sentence with "I don't mean to be rude/racist/sexist/homophobic/etc., BUT...", they then proceed to say something extremely rude/racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. FYL, OP. He was very rude, and you did NOT deserve that.
Meeeooowww 9
He said "I don't mean to be rude"... That makes it all okay
mymiles 13
Get him to show you his dick & then complain that things that small are why ****** were invented
Uri69 10
Tell him not to be rude but he's the reason why the word *douche bag* was invented.
StEpHiE1226 12
Wow don't put out on the first date for this one op...