Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML
Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML
Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML
Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
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Top comments
iomnomnomux3 0
you go glen coco.
misfitmonroe 4
That is hilarious
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Comments (161)
alki_fml 5
your neighbor sounds awesome.
Cenobyte 10
YDI for having no sense of humour. He hasn't damaged anything. He just moved them around and then made it look like they'd pooped. It's funny. Get over it. The more you get angry, the more he's going to think of things to annoy you.
Schizomaniac 24
Yeah, cause I love when people **** with shit on my property.
Cenobyte 10
But it's so much more fun pressing someone's buttons when you're guaranteed a reaction.
HetaliaFreak 10
It's not funny when he has to go pick up another dog's shit.
POOPSMUGGLER 0
Mmmm *******.....
penlandcourtney 0
Omg! That's so funny! But I bet it sucks on ur end...
mslow420 0
Ahaaa@fuckball!!wha an asssssh0le!
pdp_fml 21
Get a restraining order and lodge a complaint with the local police against this a-hole of a neighbor. He's trespassing on private property!
clcbjj31 0
I don't usually comment on pictures, but dude you are looking like a boss. Those shades are bitchin'.
bri1215 7
it really is bitchin
sierrataz 3
Get a video camera and catch the asshat in the act.
katt_is_here 24
That's exactly what I was thinking. Even if you don't want to spend the money on a real camera, you can get those fake ones. They are pretty convincing looking. But, it really depends on whether you want to figure out who's doing it or whether you want to just prevent it from happening again.
ea49610 0
Is your neighbor scrooge??
asherm 15
Lol @ suggestive poses part. I actually did that w/ my moms nativity scene one yr. So much for my catholic beginnings...
Epikouros 32
After vanilla-scented trash bags, another FML where the OP's stuff is weirder than the FML. YDI for having decorative reindeer butts.
TheYorkieOfDoom 8
Where's the rest of the reindeer? O.o