By StinkyDogs - 27/03/2011 10:06 - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 687
You deserved it 11 246

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why the **** would you slam on the breaks, moron.

chester75 5

I just thought that by hitting the breaks gravity would return the shit to the dogs ass.


chell1894 13

You got yourself in a crappy situation :D

ryry98 7
MyNameIsBruce 0

Damn! I was just about to say that!

PrincessesCrown 17

why is it that when ever an FML has poop in it someone says crappy or "shity"

98, i see what you did there ;3 hahaa, fail ^___^

I think that could qualify for a triple point combo

funnyFMLSplz 0

I loled at 98. Ty for that lmfao

DaveOnDope 4

Sure is! I wanna stick my dick right in her. I wonder if the nice blonde lady holding her would give me noms after?

Why the **** would you slam on the breaks, moron.

chester75 5

I just thought that by hitting the breaks gravity would return the shit to the dogs ass.

I thought the same thing, #2. So the OP was willing to start a 10-car pileup because his dog shit the car? Idiot. Further proof that dog owners are complete morons. Who else would want an expensive crap machine that needs to be walked in all kinds of weather or it will shit and piss in the house?

Picking_Kuppies 0

Oh, I don't know, maybe he was trying to pull over and let the dog out so he would shit outside instead of in the car?

chester75 5

30 that would have been reasonable if they hadn't suddenly braked in the middle if the road, they should have slowly stopped somewhere safer

outsidebox 0

maybe they did it after the dog threw up and not suddenly. sure doesn't sound like it though.

A7X_LoVeee 10

The dog didn't throw up, it took a poop.

17 win!! *・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*

30.. the dog shit the car already, why would he pull over to try to prevent it?

Heliol 8

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe the driver was busy focusing on the dog and had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting something in front of them? I know if I suddenly saw my dog having diarrhea in the backseat I would be worried and distracted for a bit. Sometimes people lose concentration and something happens that makes them slam on the brakes to avoid hitting something, or someone. Although, to be fair, the OP is too vague about this very important issue.

DaveOnDope 4

Hey 26! I shit and piss in the house all the time! But you may take care of my box.

Heliol 8

Important to the story btw, not to anything too meaningful unless it's because they totally ran over a motorcyclist at a stoplight or something... >.> Failblog anyone? ;D

55 yes you avoid hitting something, but then you get rear ended.

Because slamming the horn would be preposterous.

eww that must have been one hell of a mess

TheDrifter 23

Did you actually think that slamming on the brakes would do anything about the mess?

DaveOnDope 4

When I was a trucker, we called that settling the load.

so Dave, in your truck driving kitten days did you settle the load when you had to crap or after you already did?

thanks for the joke but I am really wondering about this so I hope he replies lol

DaveOnDope 4

My answer for #76: I would always shit and piss in my litterbox before climbing into the cab of my truck! I stopped being a trucker when truckstops wouldn't meet my demands to always have litterboxes and ZigZags available for wandering kittens like myself. I'm no longer a kitten, but have used up six of my lives in booze and drug soaked debaucheries. I received my AARP members kit yesterday in fact. And my catnip grows green, tall, and powerful! I got my original catnip seeds from a gentleman named Jack Herer (rip) one of the few times he was hanging around my home. And for #86: Today is between yesterday and tomorrow. But it is always time for a nap.

thank you Dave! now I can sleep at night without staying up until midnight thinking, "What the hell does settling the load mean?!" as I was doing before I read this

oh and nice Jack Herer reference made me smile. I wonder if he has some Jack Herer of his own wherever he is now...

DaveOnDope 4

Okay, seriously. When leaving a loading dock, sometimes a trucker will pull forward a ways and hit the brakes. If things crashed in the trailer, just back right up again and make them fix their mistake. Now if you haven't done so yet, go the **** to bed!

DaveOnDope 4

Dude, you can STILL roll up a Jack Herer and send him the vibes.

DaveOnDope 4

Jack was a real treat to meet! He dropped in on me twice. The first time I called my friend that ran the local head shop at the time and told him if he wanted to meet Jack he should get to my place quick! He laughed at me! So I talked Jack into doing a drive by the store on his way out of town. I heard later Jack walked in and told my friend he better not ever doubt me again, and walked right back out again! (at first) Heeeeeeeeee!

I got it the first time Dave,so stop typing in that tone dammit!

Hmm you are showing your xbox controller in your profile picture... and you are giving out your number to any random **** who wants it over the internet... interesting...

DaveOnDope 4

Never trust an email address or phone number given clear out in public! Twenty five years ago geeks LOVED putting out YOUR info, but always protected our own. So, if your phone number is out in public, expect calls from the Royal Banc of Nigeria. Same thing with email addresses. Sixteen years ago I poisoned my own websites with code that would feed unknown web crawlers tens of thousands of bad email addresses.

He's desperate. But he doesn't realize that when you look like that you'll always be, forever alone.

That sucks dude... but its also a bit disgusting

well that's a 'crappy' situation. ZING.

herotime 7

That joke is older than you are. STFU

it's called a pun, genius. it's supposed to be stupid.

herotime 7

I'm glad you recognize I am in fact a genius. Now stop overusing "puns"

If you're going to use such an overused pun, at least have the snap to be the first to use it on the given FML, or the decency to just reply with "Ditto" under the person who did use it first, in the case, comment #1.

when I commented, I thought I was first. if you would look at the time of the first few comments posted, you would see that they're all posted at the same time. jeez, lighten up.

KingDingALing 9

That's not the only problem here. You said "ZING" at your own joke. You don't do something like that when you make a joke. You suck at making jokes. Go run head-first into your TV.

herotime 7

Thank you Dingaling. My thoughts exactly.

It's not a zinger if it's ******* stale and moldy. And puns aren't necessarily stupid, genius. These awful 'situation' jokes bomb as badly as The Situation at the roast.

I don't understand why people think these jokes are still funny after being told for the last 619405728 poop related fmls that have been posted...

F your dogs L OP, you weren't the one hurled into a pile of crap. XD

Uh, why the **** would you hit the breaks? Did you think your dog would magically stop ******** itself? Hell, you could have caused an accident like that.

22cute 17

How do you get a great Dane into the car anyway?

Open the door and place a biscuit inside.Easy.

ViolentBears 0

A lot of animals like car rides, especially dogs.

Well.... SOME dogs like it... but I had a dog once that would pee in the floor whenever he even THOUGHT he was gonna have to get in the car! And more than once he pissed IN the car… Including one time he pissed IN the car while sitting IN the lap of my friend!

Or a cattle prod... U know what never mind forget I said that

#88: I like HAVING unnecessary capitalization IN the MIDDLE of sentences.

SarahMarie83 0

I just open the door and he jumps in.

My Dane loves cars. (: I have a small car and she rests her head on my shoulder from the backseat while I drive.