Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ran into an old friend from college on the bus to work. Having not seen each other in over 10 years, we spent a good 15 minutes talking about our lives after college. At the end, he asked me what my name was. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I was riding on a bus while texting my online girlfriend that I've known her for two years, I asked her, “We’ve known each other for two years, shall we now meet each other publicly?” Next to me there was a 50 year-old man. As soon as I sent the message on my phone, I heard a ding sound from that man. Then he smiled. FML
Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
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Top comments
RyanMacVey 17
i see you have met my granda (:
lionandthelamb61 9
Ahhaahaa, sucker.
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Comments (258)
DaniBee420 6
That's hilarious!
floiedy 0
Boobies :D
flamminbunny 2
l0l thats funny.
thomas357 0
ha ha ha ha very funny old man
lexi_8588 0
hahaha how old wss he?
greenstreet 0
hilarious!!!
MaskedAspen 6
all he does is win? not like he insulted you.
Garyy_fml 11
The old man, he played nine, he wanted OP to suck on his vine
brownmegan 0
That's awesome!!! Go old guy.
gun7runner 5
Awesome old dude