Miscellaneous: Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could...

By Anonymous - 07/04/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 807

You deserved it 53 660

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Same thing different taste

Deluxe Memory Man

By St Steven - 15/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 210

As a treat

By Undercooked - 24/09/2013 19:08 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 078

You deserved it 4 767

By craigtm029429 - 02/03/2012 00:47 - United States

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 1 895

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 695

You deserved it 7 396

Classic

By Dylan - 15/10/2023 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 532

Hello, goodbye

By Joey - 07/05/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 138

You deserved it 5 241

Lunch Special

By Luisa - 09/01/2020 01:00

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 232

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 234

By neverunderstood - 02/12/2016 12:39 - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 426

You deserved it 1 422

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 429

dontfmlplzzz 6

Sunday 8 April 2012 1:59

Common sense isn't so common nowadays

loller27 6

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:00

dude what did you think it meant

Comments

Saraahx97 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:05

Mmm napkin sandwich... O.o

ttttttyyy 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 13:55

It's a BAN bacon avacado napkin mmm!

jerseyboy732 16

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

iwadasn 32

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:09

Not everyone has a smartphone, you know.

berichsoon 11

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:29

If someone who is not smart enough to know what BLT is, I don't think he can be that smart to look it up on a smartphone

hellbilly205 17

Sunday 8 April 2012 3:29

Im assuming #15 is one of those people who is a dumb person with a smart phone

Krirn 21

Sunday 8 April 2012 4:13

Who Googles anything on their smartphones anymore? They just update their Facebook status to ask their friends, "Like" the comment that tells them what "L" and "T" stands for, takes an Instagram of their shopping cart and tags who ever is going to eat with them, in this case OP's wife.

docscientist 9

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:50

54- what the hell does intelligence have to do with knowing what a BLT is? Granted, one could make a damn good guess, but I think you have knowledge and intelligence a little mixed up there.

faireanjell 5

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:07

At least you could've tried for something starting with those letters, maybe lard and Tuna perhaps... Lol

eddeeezzyy 19

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:07

I gotta say though, I found this fml to be very amusing along with all the others that have an embarrassing low amount of common sense and YDIs

DREWBERTMAN 2

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:39

I like the ones that involve a couple having sex in a cabana at a kids water park... Sooooo funny and idiotic...

eddeeezzyy 19

Sunday 8 April 2012 6:43

Groddie! Lmao don't remind me because the next you thing you know, there's cumshots shooting everywhere along with it going into the water, down the slides, and eventually sticking to random people.

Epikouros 31

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:07

... and that's the fifth YDI in a row. It's like Jesus is dead or something.

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:10

If that's the case, hopefully they'll arise tomorrow morning.

hahasooo 2

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:08

what does blt stand for?

DuffleBagHero 4

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:09

BLT- Better luck today

eddeeezzyy 19

Sunday 8 April 2012 2:10

Google it....but I'll just tell you anyway because I have a good heart (no sarcasm there), but it's means Bacon Lettuce Tomato consisted into a sandwich.