Kids: Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 18:33 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 815

You deserved it 7 814

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Same thing different taste

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 259

Memento

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 03:00

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 28/07/2012 16:02 - United States - South Bend

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 394

You deserved it 6 094

Suspicious coincidence?

By Confused - 20/05/2023 15:00

Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 130

Picture perfect

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 04:00

Today, I have a tattoo of my daughter, who died when she was 11, and I had to have surgery on that body area. I told the surgeon very clearly to cut around the tattoo and he assured me he would. Woke up and the bastard had cut through my daughter's face, and half her face is now under scars and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 162

Keep in touch

By Anonymous - 01/11/2019 22:00

Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 324

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:43 - United States - Woodinville

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 3 702

By Chronicus Ironia - 17/10/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 078

You deserved it 349

By branded - 14/05/2009 19:57 - United States

Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 60 621

By TatooFAIL - 06/10/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 283

You deserved it 67 792

Wizardo 33

Sunday 19 May 2013 22:46

Hey don't worry, she's your daughter and you should love her anyway and it'll just make for an interesting story.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Sunday 19 May 2013 22:46

That's not a big deal. You should just be happy that the baby is healthy!

Comments

slimashli 7

Saturday 18 October 2014 6:52

hey thats awesome!

sydstoomuch 19

Monday 1 December 2014 9:49

That's bad ass

koolkitty0978 12

Tuesday 7 April 2015 6:27

Like from Crybaby

buck16 9

Saturday 1 August 2015 3:01

should tell her if any kids tease her have her say "you know I was actually a twin...was"

oogedyboogedy 14

Friday 28 August 2015 7:43

watch she gon be a model

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The Top

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 629

You deserved it 14 990

Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 5 464

Today, I just realized that my Sims character has a far more stable lifestyle than what I can ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 211

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 378

You deserved it 4 243

Today, I realized how emotional I get around my time of month when I cried because a cheese commercial was so "touching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 162

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 10 260

Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 535

You deserved it 333