By SariLone - India - Mumbai
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
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  rg350dx  |  29

The friends of OP's ex take the cake for probably the best wingmen of all time. Faking a kidnapping to help get your buddy laid? That's fucking commitment right there.

By  niallo  |  23

This should be an easy one. It's got all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship written all over it. So I think " Fuckoff And Die" should come close to an appropriate response.

  AngelSpit  |  18

Every time I talk to my one ex (we're actually really good friends) I answer the phone with "how's it goes my code guzzling knob goblin" but my absolute Faves are "analy regurgitated come bubble" and "twat waffle"

By  denden_mushi  |  10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  flockz  |  19

nope new porn series.

Spiderman: Return of the Cockgoblin

in a world where a menace roams the streets in search of young virgins to thrust his evil into, a hero must erectify. spiderman must protect these virgins and find the place where he has to park his peter in order to save humanity.