Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"
RR05 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!
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Comments (95)
White667 0
I always say the right answer, but in a sarcastic tone.
nanner6206 24
My husband does that, or answers yes without ever looking at me.
TomFantastic 0
Tell her you "almost" give a shit if she wants you to sleep on the couch
WowYouFailAtLife 0
Deserved. You should know that women hate "almosts" and "a lot likes." bad move, slick.
OverEnthusiast 0
I hate chicks like that. They give the rest of us a bad name. Tell that bitch if she doesn't want to sleep next to you SHE can sleep on the damn couch. You didn't do anything wrong, and if she has a problem she can deal with it herself. Although, if you insist on staying with her, next time just stick with "beautiful". Can't really go wrong with that as long as you sound sincere. Unless she really is crazy.
nanner6206 24
I am in love with you 54
ico2 2
YDI for marrying such a person.
Live_And_Let_Liv 0
LMAO!! She sounds so full of herself
hogermite 0
I can't believe all the supermodel jealousy. all the fat, plain chicks are revealing their jealousy...yeah....Heidi klum is just gross....Tyra banks is on tv for her personality..."they look like aliens"?!? denial. they are better humans than you and they are probably in Milan right now hoovering coke off a male supermodel while you write on fml....and so do I. shit.
sexxxtacy 0
haha. you speak the mother ******* truth.
DameGreyWulf 1
How the **** is Tyra Banks a better human than any of us? Have you seen the shit she's pulled on those poor girls on her shows? She's a complete ******* BITCH.
cynicallysenecal 0
Hiedi Klum is gorgeous....
oogyboogy 6
... well now i see why people go gay ******* women!!!
PaperShreds 0
How do you go gay while having sexual intercourse with women?
greenltrn2003 0
Well you're 18 and you havent had A girlfriend...thats how ppl end up gettin gay you know?
PaperShreds 0
Pushover. She better actually look like a supermodel if she's treating you like that, but your still a pushover.
amazemyself2 0
i'd be flattered by what you said... she sounds like an insecure bitch.