Miscellaneous: Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that...

By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 036

You deserved it 12 840

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Same thing different taste

One way street

By Gary - 05/11/2023 01:02 - Ukraine

Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 09:42 - United States

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 168

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 314

You deserved it 4 936

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 062

You deserved it 10 271

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 275

You deserved it 7 790

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 083

You deserved it 3 232

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 7 007

Be careful what you wish for…

By Sady_Ct - 15/05/2019 12:12

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 580

By Lazy - 20/09/2009 12:03 - Australia

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 142

Nice try

By Nina - 21/04/2023 04:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 795

null_fml 11

Monday 12 October 2009 9:37

You: "You ALMOST look like a supermodel..." Her: *death glare* You: "...but you couldn't be a supermodel, or you'd put the airbrush/Photoshop technicians out of a job!"

RR05 0

Monday 12 October 2009 9:19

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA woman are ******* crazy!!

Comments

busdrivertohell 0

Monday 12 October 2009 12:04

You should have followed it up with 'Minus the whole being too scrawny and most likely having an eating disorder thing'

gr3y_fml 1

Monday 12 October 2009 12:23

Just imagine if you'd married a supermodel and tried that "compliment." You'd be doing it harder than just sleeping on the couch now!

Morphs 0

Monday 12 October 2009 12:32

YDI for that bad remark...

epicwinmaster 0

Monday 12 October 2009 12:35

Never tell the truth. Thats the golden rule. always tell her what she wants to hear. you couldve got laid. sorry buddy

amatayo 0

Monday 12 October 2009 12:38

hahahaha wow what a strange thing to say. Ex. Your girl walks in the door looks you in the eye and smile. "You know what I almost love" (Yeah that's how she feels.)

cowinvasion 0

Monday 12 October 2009 13:47

It would have been best to say nothing at all. An "almost" statement means nothing. Still, her reaction was silly and irrational.

FlaminYawn 0

Monday 12 October 2009 14:11

I wouldve said "cute enough to take it doggystyle", and if she bitched I'd make her sleep on the couch. What is it with pussy ass guys sleeping on the couch, you're bigger so it makes more sense for the guy to get the spacious bed...

plexico 3

Monday 12 October 2009 14:30

Correct answer: "In that dress, you look almost as good as your sister." A different strategy is to avoid the aesthetic issue altogether and complain about how much that rag set you back and accuse her of trolling for fresh meat. That will end her fishing trips for compliments real fast.

idrivefast 0

Monday 12 October 2009 15:04

I'd be like "almost eh?" as a joke. Some women are too easy to piss off.

drsmartassMD 0

Monday 12 October 2009 15:30

Does she make you sit at the kiddie table as well? Or make you ride in the back seat if she's upset with you? Or howbout "hush...the big people are talking" followed by your "ok hunny...sorry." Must be a sad world when your wife can tell you to sleep on the couch and you do it.