Intimacy: Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside...

By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 851

You deserved it 59 327

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 969

You deserved it 5 069

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 849

You deserved it 4 709

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 761

You deserved it 8 438

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 358

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 823

Insult to adultery

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 997

You deserved it 7 711

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 3 291

By Anonymous - 03/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Great Barrington

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 557

Squadoosh 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:40

How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.

fmlfmlfml15 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:44

Lesson learned: Look before you grope

Comments

AnimalPorn 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 10:18

You are the man, you deserve a medal for that

MaddogTotten 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 10:25

At least you got to touch on some strange booby. FML should really read: Today I fondled a pair of fun bags. As it turns out, they weren't even my wife's! MyLifeIsAwesome.

iwadasn 32

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:41

Why is it that it's fine to refer to a woman's breasts as "fun bags" but everyone clicks "YDI" because someone referred to a man's testicles as "happy sacks"? That seems like a bit of a double standard...