Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
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Top comments
Squadoosh 0
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Lesson learned: Look before you grope
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Comments (110)
777_alex_777 0
do u tend to grope ur wife on a regular basis? =P
Kervik 0
You don't know what your wife looks like? >.>
BikeMass 0
FYL for being married.
tony8pie 0
Numbers 77 thru 81: thank you for those self-indulgent novels, but why don't we keep these comments about the fml instead of personal dogma, shall we?!
madZONE_fml 0
this is one of the reasons we women like u to look at our FACES.
tonyDlolli 0
and **** are two reasons guys don't
Vaetrus 0
@67 xD. I don't think that is how he meant it. Still stupid move on OP's part.
aabballdude 0
Boobs were created so men could play with them, it doesn't matter whose chest there on
Spaceman_G 0
Hell i bet u were happy anyway lol dnt play it off, give urself a high five
vickerlynn 0
awww eff her life for being such a stuck up bitch!! obviously u didnt mean to.... or DID u lol well it makes a funny story anyways lol
YamahaMama09 0
Pay attention to detail idiot......although I did find that shit funny as hell.