Today, my walk of shame may have been caught by the Google car....

By Anonymous

Today, my walk of shame may have been caught by the Google car. FML

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1642

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The smell detective is on the case

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

Classic narcissist

By Anonymous - Reserved

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34850

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2392

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By wtfseriously - United States

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8434

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By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51186

You deserved it

5023

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By kill me - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13875

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1910

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By Birthday Boy

Happy Birthday

Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5065

You deserved it

328

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By Scarlet

Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13597

You deserved it

1125

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By Anonymous - United States - Dayton

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44553

You deserved it

6033

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By f4444 - United States - Highland Park

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23997

You deserved it

2580

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By Jammy238 - France

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28615

You deserved it

3717

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By Richard - France

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37239

You deserved it

4487

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By Inez333

Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2392

You deserved it

147

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34679

You deserved it

1982

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By NotTakenYet

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2442

You deserved it

247

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By my_way_1213

Smart kid.

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2225

You deserved it

3661

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By Anonymous - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26777

You deserved it

3118

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By Anonymous - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50367

You deserved it

6532

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By Anonymous - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26579

You deserved it

1829

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By Anonymous - 29/4/2021 20:08

Suspicious Minds

Today, I found out that my parents have always believed that every single time I have ever showed emotion, I was faking it and that I'm actually a sociopath with no feelings. I was kicked out of the theater department at my college for my poor acting skills, and they know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

830

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12186

You deserved it

36852

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By Hopeful - 27/2/2021 11:01

Sex work is work

Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems to be making thousands doing it, so why not? Turns out that the only people interested in my body are scammers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1045

You deserved it

375

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By notateen - United States

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

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44014

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By Adan - 13/11/2020 17:58 - Pakistan - Peshawar

Speaks for us all

Today, I'm having an existential crisis. I don't what the future holds, I'm overthinking and stressing about things I could've controlled. Now I'm having a breakdown and I've got a test tomorrow and I have to take a bath, but all my lazy ass does is worry but never actually do the fucking work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

701

You deserved it

450

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By SugarMyBalls - United States - Winder

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47411

You deserved it

3136

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30757

You deserved it

7281

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By Boob - United Kingdom

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9612

You deserved it

34826

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By mike - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45407

You deserved it

4103

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By Anonymous - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

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15326

You deserved it

958

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By angrymadman3542342 - Canada

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31965

You deserved it

7516

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By fire1 - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33073

You deserved it

2309

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43859

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3954

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By Confused - United States - Irvine

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44610

You deserved it

14606

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By Anonymous

Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4861

You deserved it

459

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By BDSM4Jesus - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34996

You deserved it

4517

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By Anonymous

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1529

You deserved it

918

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By irresponsible - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35897

You deserved it

8839

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By BFfail - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52863

You deserved it

2733

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By Anonymous - 6/5/2021 16:59

Autobodyshaming

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

647

You deserved it

439

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By just_friends - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38251

You deserved it

3575

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By historyfreak_17 - United States - Dearborn Heights

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28717

You deserved it

4686

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By beardedlady - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

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49940

You deserved it

5210

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Top comments

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7804809 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 18:20

C'mon! It's the Stride of Pride if you own it....

By Callyn | 47

#7804854 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 20:50

Doesn't matter, had sex? Nothing wrong with getting some.

COMMENTS

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7804809 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 18:20

C'mon! It's the Stride of Pride if you own it....

By Jackey | 29

#7804824 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 19:10

Fame at last...

By Callyn | 47

#7804854 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 20:50

Doesn't matter, had sex? Nothing wrong with getting some.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7804860 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 21:13

They pixelate your face so only you and the dude are going to know it’s you.

And everyone the dude tells.

By bloopaloop | 27

#7804890 - Tuesday 21 May 2019 23:42

Henceforth, all chicks getting directions to his place will see it and be forewarned!