Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
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Top comments
Trapped_in_a_Box 0
how do you accidentally sit on a trohpy? isn't big enough for you to notice it?
lolz_ydi 1
dumbass
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Comments (175)
zp5 4
you probably shouldn't of brought it home that weekend.
mintcar 10
Shouldn't HAVE*
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for costing your team 1st place, for being selfish and wanting to take the trophy to your house for the weekend, for asking permission instead of just taking it, for having a house to go to, and for having an ass with which to sit on it.
Noonaa_fml 0
ohkay ! u need to qett a fuqkinn liifee ! yhuu comment on everyones thiinqq with neqativee nnd dumbbell thinqss to sayy ! qett a daymn lifeee !!
PacoIsATaco 0
Someone doesn't have a sense of humor! ^__^
zp5 4
......... demented baby!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
wow, #27. You've given me a lot to think about. I think I might change my ways. However, I want to know one thing: did your mother take advantage of the pregnancy discount at the liquor store, or what?!
Person1233 13
27, I didn't know that tribal language was still spoken in the world. Is it your native language?
zp5 4
27 you're stupid. whaaat? I just wanted to fit in with everyone!
zp5 4
44 I would think so. 27 not only did that happen to your mother, your father is a drunk smoking ****** with no life but sitting in the streets holding a sign that say "WILL **** MEN FOR FOOD".
zp5 4
you'd be suprised how many people actually went for that.....
Annihilator 0
Lol, you're too funny!
TheTigerRoars 0
Well, first of all... OP, YDI. This is why you don't deserve to have pride. As for 27, don't read it if you don't like it. Just get over; he's going to do it regardless of how many curse words you throw at him. Now for zp5, quit conforming to society. We don't need all you humans running off a cliff like sheep do. You guys don't taste good. Trollz, I will get my hat made out of your skin. ._. that is all. -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
you're going to eat me?!
TheTigerRoars 0
I don't eat junk food. I so stole that from Ice Age. -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
aw. well I guess I'm not giving you this cinnamon roll I made...
TheTigerRoars 0
I'm a tiger... I want raw meat with seeping blood oozing from it's entire entity. Why would I eat a cinnamon roll if I can just eat your mom? Hahahaha, I had to. Terrible joke... -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
shut up fluffy mcballsack. nobody can resist my fresh cinnamon rolls!
TheTigerRoars 0
Why do I have to be a balls sack? That's what your cinnamon rolls already are. Quit trying to feed that to innocent, unknowing families! -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
I have to disagree with you. my cinnamon rolls are certainly not ballsacks. and I feed those people so they can enjoy the great taste of my freshly baked cinnamon rolls!
TheTigerRoars 0
...I bet they melt in your mouth too... There's no changing cinnamon rolls back. -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
yes they would melt in your mouth. because they can have fudge in them, and they're really soft and those people who eat those have a great time in their mouth because they're eating my freshly baked cinnamon rolls!
zp5 4
yes! my cinnamon rolls can never be beaten!
TheTigerRoars 0
... the perversion in this conversation makes me wonder why the Pillsbury dough boy was really created... -Fluffy McTiger
zp5 4
because if he weren't what would be the fun in all this? plus without it, cinnamon rolls would be boring when you're looking at the label. so eat my freshly baked cinnamon rolls tiger! OR I HUNT YOU DOWN. teehee!
spikey818 9
ripped pants?
HahaHokayThen 10
omg! is it okay!?
HahaHokayThen 10
the trophy. not the butt.
TheTigerRoars 0
It deserves quite the spanking, don't you think? Too bad I have claws... -Fluffy McTiger
HahaHokayThen 10
Haha! oh, troll. (:
HaxivX 0
well that is interesting
JayBear14 11
i hope your name is matt daggs
mrahhhhh 21
Her name is probably Hugh Jass. Sorry couldn't think of a female equivalent.
mrahhhhh 21
That's using your ass, OP!
slimjim8094 12
Bender FTW!
nuke_o 0
he's prolly black.
Bradster_15 0
it's a she... PS. stop being rasict, only Russell peters can do it without looking like an asshole
nuke_o 0
his soul his black thus ripped butt
sallen0046 4
Why would you put a trophy in a place you could sit on it to begin with?
DocBastard 40
Your event was the back(side) stroke? /lame