Haha oichh I'm sorry to hear that o_O

Awe I'm sorry OP, what a dick. He should be there to watch his own child be born. I hope he feels guilty when he's sober.

why would he be at a bar when you're alone at home & pregnant? what a turd.

This is were you call him back and yell, CHICKS BEFORE DICKS!! :P

58 I lold

2 options. If it's a girl, everytime he wants to hold her say "Remember? Bros before hos. Obviously you're too good for us." If it's a boy say "bros before hos. Obviously he deserve someone with a dick." and make him take care of the baby all the time.

Slap him with the baby's umbilical (I think I spelled it wrong) cord. That'll teach him!

My solution: Eat the male, make sure no one finds out, run away with cub, find new counterpart, and viola! New life with your cub and with a father she deserves. -Fluffy McTiger

138. what are you smokin and where can I get some?

-pushes stash over- Don't tell anyone. D,: It's catnip... -Fluffy McTiger

ooorr eat the baby eat the man AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD

He has a point...

141 - lol, now I know why my cat's such a spazz all the time.

that's horrible!

YDI for having a baby. Quit being a commie.

you can never break the man code under any circumstance

Aw, 58 you stole my joke! :(

so it's OPs fault that her husbands an asshole and isn't there for her? That makes sense.

that makes no sense he's the selfish asshole she did nothing wrong

ydi for tryin to ruin his buzz

He's a keeper

ki

I agree with 7

but he should have been there for her instead of drinking like a selfish douche bag. it's not her fault she went into labor while he was out with the guys he should have the balls to tell his "bros" his wife is in labor and he needs to be there for her.

Bahahaha 326. You're absolutely right. I'm sure he's shown dick tendencies waaaay before she went into labor. She should've known having a baby wouldn't change that. If, by chance, this is the first exhibit of douchery, I do feel bad for the OP but I somehow think this isn't the first...

nobody understands you

Well are you a hoe???

OMG I JUST HAD A BABY. i know! I will tell the internetssssss...ssss Crocodile! hmph.

You should wait until he says he needs you to come over but you are with your friends then say: "CHICKS BEFORE D*CKS" that'll teach him

i am marnick from THE netherlands, aka big nose aka freak-show nl i love yer picture!!! (k)wanna meet up? commentt and ask me for my picture! ps ****:p?!

least he will be happy after the divorce.

haha that's sad but funny too. he must suck alot a dick if he puts his bros before his wife

you don't deserve this OP.

well that's not very nice :(

your hot, i'm not.FML

I agree. Dick move.

obvious troll wasnt obvious enough for you?

that is actually a man law. however in this situation I think it can be broken.

Lies! This man law be-ith a commandment! It shant be broken, sire! 37, refrain from using vulgar language on FML as the staff tries very hard to keep a friendly environment. They don't need you adding to their fail. Kthxbai

though if this was a MLIB..with him posting it I assume it would go something like "Today, I was drinking some naties at the bar with my bros, then my bitch called sayin I need to be there to watch her deliver her baby, I told her 'BROS BEFORE HOES' then hung up and fist bumped the bartender, it was chill. MLIB

Hahahahahahahahaha hilarious!!! but op that sucks for you.. I wouldve gone prego on his ass!!! 

oh noes my comment was deleted! D: I worked and thought about that funny MLIB comment, oh well anyway very sorry OP fyl he was drunk, but still very messed up fix it or break it up.

and in his defense he was drunk...

being drunk is an excuse and excuses are like assholes...everyone has'em and they all stink...if she was that close to her due date the moron shouldn't have been at a bar, let alone drunk...and the "bro's before hoes" rule is for 15 year-olds...not grown men who are having children...grow the f*** up

270 you absolutely right.

.. what? nooo.....

who said anything about a divorce? i doubt this would be on FML if this was truly an issue.

well even if he did say that What would he be like befor and why would you screw him

why wouldn't it be on FML if it was a serious issue? I mean isn't that the point of FML.

*hands over brakes*

its not like being drunk wasnt his choice..

umm... wat??

you can control yourself to an extent when you're drunk, he's just a dick. it's no excuse. and say he's sooo hammered he can't even comprehend what she's saying, why is he getting THAT drunk when his wife is very pregnant and might need his help, or maybe have a BABY? either way, he's a dick and should be divorced.

venusvsmars ur a dick bros b4 hoes bitch build a bridge & get over it

and it's 'break' btw.

I doubt a "brake" will do him any good. Maybe a while in reverse. If he's going to reverse, though, he'll eventually need to put it back in drive, so maybe you're right, a brake would be helpful when switching gears. (Sorry, it was wide open, there, I had to take it.)

bennyboy111, build a bridge and JUMP OFF IT!!!

build a bridge and jump off it...that...is...AWESOME!!! and agreed...the world could use less assholes...

what would he want a brake for? O_O

couldn't of said it better myself

it's not like being pregnant wasn't her choice

300 - Ironic, because your comment could have been worded better. (See what I did there?)

I agree

7 - Horrible spelling. Go back to school. 2nd of all ; Leaving a pregnant woman to give birth is a jerk move. Not like you'd know that. You don't know what loyalty is even if it hit you straight up the ass. Sorry OP. He should have been there for both of you.

Give him a break? He's out drunk with his friends when his wife is 9 months pregnant? Surely that wasn't a choice. I'm sure the alcohol just jumped off the table and into his mouth. He had absolutely no choice in the matter.

The clutch is used for switching gears.

#225 why don't you go jump in the lake you sexist dick

Ok, Trollz, the flopping out on the floor part made roflmaocopterbagel. That's quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever said.

demented baby!

GIIIIINGER!

Like 

I'm sorry but i don't see your coments funny every FML I See ydi. and you have your FMLS all wrong

108 you're so confused and lost in life. :D

i agree with 113.

1728294, random number just to feel cool. :D Trollz, one day I shall capture you! -Fluffy McTiger

I don't think she's from west Virginia

2 DIFFERENT FMLS GENIUS!!!!

Agree with 26. Well done, Trollz. :D And most of these repliers lose their accumulated internetz.

haha the "flop out" part made me lmao as well as the "water breaking on her classmates feet" which was the FML before this...xP

I saw that Ginger. gah they creep me out

tht was stupid, and u have no actual heart bout wat the mother mustv been going thru, and how it wud hurt the future of the baby.. and in tht case, I know u wudnt want tht to happen with ur baby now, wud u..?!

Alright, alright... I have red hair, pale skin, and frikked up eyes... so what? The Ginger jokes were funny, but now they're beginning to get annoying. And I do have a soul... I think... oh god.... *runs to nearest pawn shop and purchases soul" THERE! SEE? haha

325 has no SOUL!

Every FML you have to say YDI.Seriously GTFO

a "Hoe" is a garden tool. so is anyone who thinks they are right when saying hoe.

I loved that... I use a gardening tool to bury the dead bodies! :D (so bored today -.-) -Fluffy McTiger

A 'hoe' is a piece of garden equipment. As for the plural of 'ho', I'm not sure if it has the e in it or not.

learn how to spell "you".

Actually, he got 'you' right. It was 'to' he struggled with. Actually, I see your point, it could really be either...

Oh yes, I see it now. :P

it's ho some people just don't want to accept that tho

it's ho some people just don't want to accept that tho

Actually it's "to". And if they're using an iPhone like me it doesn't always autocorrect it.

ur a ****** shutup... black Nazi??? grow up

you are a dick. go to kill yourself

actually it is spelled "ho". "hoe" is in reference to the garden tool.