Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
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Top comments
gorilladuck 6
why didnt you stop at a gas station, or restaurant?
EpicGuy70 13
She is just expressing her love! *silently gags in the background*
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Comments (83)
bryanjamieluke 17
My son is almost 2, potty trained, and yet I still carry around baby wipes and sanitizes in case of messes. I think a maybe you should have been a little more prepared, especially when dealing with a child.
mansen 15
Yes, because every mom remembers to load up on everything all the time. Or to refill things when they run out in the car. Also, if one is in a rush, one may forget things as well. As a mom of two young kids, and have friends who also have young kids (one friend has 5) not a single one of them is that well organised, because well, life is hectic, jobs, school (kids and some of us as well). Also, not a single mom I know who manages to actually have it all together in a day acts all sanctimonious towards other moms either. it is called supporting one another and not looking down on each other while spouting how super awesome you supposedly are.
Omniprism 15
Gas station sink.
kelsorg 21
gotta love babies lmfao
bodychex 5
This happened to us 15 minutes into an 8 hour drive home from vacation. Our 4 year old painted the entire back of the car, seats, carpets, floor mats and all. We had to drive 75 mph with the windows open the entire way home.
worldclassrager 41
Where did you stop? That could have possibly cleaned you up a bit more
thee_most_dope 30
I would've stopped at a gas station or rest area and washed that shit off in the sink with some soap..*gag*
lastunusedname 11
This is yet another reason I'm never having children.
marcranger 29
Personally, I bookmark all the kid-related FMLs so that when doctors give me the side-eye for requesting a tubal ligation when I'm only 30 and haven't experienced the "joys" of children, I can hand them my smartphone without further comment.
cherrio27 25
*Cleveland voice* That's nasty
elle920 1
Eeeeewwwwwww
ishchandan 14
I don't even know what to say...I hope that the kid is fine though.