Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Bathory_fml 0
Just start screaming "I HAVE NO SON! " at the top of your lungs. That'll shut her up. Probably out of confusion, but still.
dzidziaud 5
Hahaha, that must have been fun. was your visit to the police station pleasant? :]
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Comments (131)
Moopyz 0
Oh ****. I hate it how kids can do that. Who the hell taught her that?!?!?
thelonelylurker 0
I think some disciplining is in order.
koolbop56 0
Sure it was your daughter?
koolbop56 0
Lol! That's a story she'll be hearing a lot of in the future.
jumpdancehigh 0
HAHA smart kidssxzxzx
cmac86 24
oh please, she's not a brat. every two year old does that, just doesn't scream you're not my daddy. hope the police were at least pleasnt!
caticaticati 3
I did the same thing to my mom when I was 2... But I think it was karma 'cause one time when her and my dad were dating and walking around the mall, she kept walking faster and faster and eventually turned around and yelled at him to stop following her just for kicks. :)
nodbor 11
does she know this as fact?
regalarius 0
I did this to my mom when I was about 4. Not out of spite, but because I thought it sounded like a fun game to play. In public. "You're not my mommy! That's not my car! I'm not going with you!" ...I'm glad I have good parents who then sat me down and explained why that was such a bad idea instead of spanked me. I never did it again. :-P
cheeter 0
Well im glad it worked for you as for my cousin, he still gets slapped etc. as punishment and he just takes it and is now immune to the pain. Hooray for abuse causing psychological problems!! :D
BritSkits 22
Really? there's a difference between abuse and discipline. I was spanked as a child and the ONLY disorder it left me with was this horrible condition called respect for others and their property.
spillproof 0
Or you like little girls and you could grab this one.