Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Bathory_fml 0
Just start screaming "I HAVE NO SON! " at the top of your lungs. That'll shut her up. Probably out of confusion, but still.
dzidziaud 5
Hahaha, that must have been fun. was your visit to the police station pleasant? :]
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Comments (131)
AnimeAddict 0
XD your daughter's smart..... at least she knows what to do in one of those situations....
SierraStabler 0
kidnapping situation or don't want to leave situation?
AnimeAddict 0
kidnapping XD But from the FML, the kidnapper could bribe her with toys.....
volleyballgirl16 0
haha thats hilarious but what happened afterwards?
JournalKeeper 0
Lol you should've said well that mean you're not mine and I can leave you here then laughed
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
wow, that's an awesome little girl :).
BLNovelist 0
That's roughly when I would have said 'well, I guess that means I never have to bring you here again.' and see what she said then. Gods, why are children such brats nowadays?
notapplicable123 0
Kids are such brats because they never get disciplined. They just call the child protection services.
BLNovelist 0
Unfortunately. I surely hope if/when I ever get/have children, that I discipline them correctly and they don't turn out like...that.
paperfox_fml 0
Pff, all kids are brats. The ones who have parents that believe in Discipline with a capital D are usually the most ****** up.
BritSkits 22
And you think kids should just get a 'talking to'? I was disciplined, spankings included, as a kid, and the ONLY disorder it left me with was this horrible condition called respect for others and their property.
JayXL14 0
Are you...? that's a crucial part of the story........
kingofstuff 0
can you not read?
genius_man16 1
He could be her stepfather. Extremely unlikely. But possible.
Sycops 0
He can't be her step father...he used DAUGHTER in the OP. He would've used step-daughter if she was.
sireen 0
kids say the darnest things?
_elly_beth_ 0
Ugh, that happened to my friend's wife. Her daughter yelled it in the grocery store and either a cop was there or the cops were called. Problem was they had just moved to Florida and she didn't have her new license yet and still had her NY one. She spend over half an hour sorting things out with the police. Not fun.
fxdxhk90 0
Beat the damn kid. Give her some discipline before this becomes her normal behavior and you're stuck with a spoiled demon kid.
beerab 0
Haha I would have been like okay BYE! Then walked away- most likely she would have ran after you screaming lol.
bi_chick 0
thats what I do when my girls do that.........i tell them im gonna leave their ass there since they aren't mine. and then they start crying for me not to leave them