Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter lightly bumped her hand on a wall, cried and screamed for 5 minutes, vomited, then passed out. She’s 19. FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
Today, my daughter called 911. Why? Because she couldn't get the images to show up on her phone. She's 12. FML
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Top comments
kvdfan 7
Has your daughter ever taken an IQ test? just curious
kimmi41509 10
She kept scratching even though it hurt that bad and did enough damage to get taken to the hospital? She needs help.
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Comments (152)
Evaloscity 6
Those pesky freckles..
melij99 5
Check your house for missing bath salts.
chtychtybngbng 11
Why would they have bath salts in the house to begin with? You do realize that what people are referring to as bath salts when they talk about using them as a drug is not the bath salts you would buy at Wal-Mart and add to your bath right? They are chemical powders labeled as bath salts and sold at head shops and such. I think you have the wrong idea of what people are talking about when they say bath salts.
kittytub 12
no, 18 has the right bath salt. they are referring to a man who was allegedly on bath salts when he ate another man's face.
tj5810 21
123- The bath salts that caused the man to do that are not the kind of bath salts you put in the bath. The person above is correct, they are sold at head shops and places alike.
chriscrossedya 4
sadly i did too when i was a youngin'
superhumangambit 4
This is when you take out your ****, and slap her across the face with it.
Enslaved 38
Please don't have children, sicko!
supportcommand 17
You're going to slap your daughter in the face with your dick?? You are ****** up.
Apostle123 2
Haha that's funny but inappropriate
superhumangambit 4
Not mine, but I'll slap your daughter. She'll come home and you'll say "Sweetheart, I don't remember that mushroom shaped birthmark.. What's that white stuff?" Uhh... Marshmallow?
enormouselephant 15
She's 13, that's just sick. Comments like this need to be removed and this guy should be investigated. There's no 'funny' about that.
superhumangambit 4
48- You must be new to the internet. Please, tell me more.
mccaincracker 6
What if OP is female?
mario2012 18
58, please leave you sick ****.
gracehi 33
Please ignore the troll, people. Where are the mods when you need them?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You need therapy dude
thiscrazything 1
Yes, freckles are cute, unless you are a young teenage girl that has them, then they seem to think they are ugly. I hope she recovers quickly.
perdix 31
Your trip to the hospital was a waste of time, cuz there ain't no cure for stupid.
person961 9
What you just said means there is a cure for stupid :)
Shadowvoid 33
Actually, i believe darwinism will see us through for a cure by the year: 4125
Shadowvoid 33
Actually, i believe darwinism will see us through for a cure by the year: 4125
wellfuuucckme 7
I wonder why she went through that trouble and harming herself when she could've used foundation? Or is OP astrict mom/dad
wellfuuucckme 7
a strict ***********
immaMonsta 8
She didn't scratch hard enough.
immaMonsta 8
In all seriousness though OP, maybe it would be a good thing to introduce her to makeup so she doesn't harm herself.
loclinton 8
Might have been a good idea to grab a drug test on the way home too
outoftown 27
A smart ER doc would have ordered a drug screen. But given what DocBastard has said about ER docs, maybe OP should get a kit, if it wasn't done.
samaelbluny 0
She was probibly on mushrooms, and saw them dance on her face. That's the only reason I can imagine