By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 848
You deserved it 6 705

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Today, my right hand and I went to the cinema together.

Poetrywriter12 - Have you BEEN to uni? If not, then you have no idea what you're talking about. If so, then I'm severely disappointed with you. Sure studies are important, but the most important part of college is to LIVE.

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Ouch. What a dick! >.< FYL, mate.

Even Adrian Mole had a girlfriend in the end, so don't sweat it.

"I didn't choose the thug life, my professor suggested it."

People that claim they are asexual confuse the hell out of me. Does it mean they just like fucking themselves, or do they truly believe they can reproduce all alone? Maybe it's just me.

58, get a sense of humor. It's just a joke. There is no deeper meaning.

It is a joke, but in reality, asexual people just lack a libido. Their body doesn't produce the hormones or whatever that makes them want sex.

Today, my right hand and I went to the cinema together.

Did they go to watch popcornography?

I like to go with my left hand. Feels like a first date that way.

Just feels like cheating to me. I'm a faithful partner.

39: Yeah I prefer Lefty too.

Lefty always brings along that slut, Lube. It makes me feel so alone.

softcorn or hardcorn?

87: Hardcorn popcornography, for sure. There's nothing like the sight of a sweet little kernel, dripping and glistening with hot oil, swelling like it's ready to burst...! *Pop!* *Yawn* well, I'm spent. Night.

Doctorhook, you just ruined popcorn for me for the rest of my life. It will be a missed snack

You have to equalize the use of each of hand to make sure that one arm doesn't become substantially larger than the other.

Maybe you should take his advice! I'm sorry OP.

Can't imagine your reaction if he were to say something insulting this time...

Agreed, Unless his willing to write about his dates with Mrs Palma and the five daughters ;)

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Who knows, maybe it's shenanigans so awesome he may not want to put it in a journal his professor will read.

#6 I highly doubt that

Urm, no. College is about getting good grades and getting into Uni. Some people just decide to balance fun with work. The fact he's having no fun is both good and depressing. So shove you with both hands OP, get a life and good on you for concentrating hard!

27- Your idea of college is very, very bleak. Most people manage to balance studying and entertainment. As Chef from south park would say: "There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college!"

Uni? Does that mean university? If so, i think the point of high school is to get good grades to get into college (i.e. university)

Poetrywriter12 - Have you BEEN to uni? If not, then you have no idea what you're talking about. If so, then I'm severely disappointed with you. Sure studies are important, but the most important part of college is to LIVE.

I can't see where poetrywriter is from because I'm on the app, but I'm guessing that she's from Great Britain or somewhere else in Europe, or perhaps Australia. In Great Britain college is like high school, and it's for ages 16-18. Then you go on to "uni" or university, which is what we Americans call college. I'm not sure but I think it's the same throughout most of Europe and Australia. Anyway, I can see where she's coming from, because I doubt "shenanigans" are encouraged for 16 to 18 year olds.

Grace, you must be on the Android app. I used to have the same issues, which is why I use my iPod Touch instead. I apologize in advance, but: -*United States -*He It had to be done. I'll show myself out.

Well if she really is from the US, then I too am thoroughly confused by her comment. Perhaps she's a recent immigrant? I don't know! *head explodes*

I'm in college. I don't do any sort of partying. Homework, video games, and weed.

I agree that some people don't have time for shenanigans , i go to school full time and work full time and that doesn't leave much time for anything else. I know lots whose parents are parents pay for it and they parry all the time, while rocking c grades. Done can do it others can't and not because of choice either.

59, proof reading saves lives. Your comment gave me a headache. 27, get the stick out of your ass.

While i do apologize for my errors my point stands. Im sure you are smart enough to get the gist of it. Was typing this while i waited for next class to start so i didn't really doubler check it, my apologies.

The most important thing to concentrate on in collage or at a uni is not getting a STD!

Write about your parties :D

What parties?

Dang maybe you should go out and party and have a hangover night and then you will have a lot of stuff to write about.

He wouldn't remember it! He'd be wasted.

Doesn't matter, had... Oh wait

And this guy controls all your marks. Good luck. !

Less complaining+more partying=success op!

I guess your stories of longing and masturbation have become repetitive and tiresome. Your professor thinks that you should try to get a girlfriend because he thinks your tales of failure and rejection are going to be hilarious. You should show him by lowering your standards and getting a nasty girlfriend.

unknown_user5566 26

47- Perdix was making the assumption that the Professor reads the journals; he then implied that the Professor told OP to get a girlfriend because he's tired of reading OP's sad, sexless, lonely tales.

#51, thanks, I am so glad that you took the time to explain my comment to #47. And yet so sad that you had to :D

An additional bit of advice for OP for guidance in this endeavor. If you have to ask your date "you're a woman, right?" Or "You're sure this is legal?" You're on track to a memorable night.