By fattymcbutterpants - 19/06/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 760
You deserved it 3 511

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Just be glad it was a blanket and NOT your leg.

how did you decide that the best way to silence a dog was to let him hump something?


Rico_Mal1116 0

Let him hump you. Problem solved. 

eminemchick 19

u gotta help a brother out..even if it is a stranger's dog..i guess.xD

Looks like the dogs already got your raise

If you are the nanny Fran, I don't blame the dog....

Susieee_Q 9

I find it extremely hard to give you advice. Either let him finish, or see if he eventually gets tired of barking....

gunmania0 12

Let him finish! You don't want to give him blue balls!

i could just imagine OP standing there with an 'I can't believe I'm doing this' face

that's one horny bitch(;

imacreeper 3

I love pictures that go so well with their comment! Like 54.

sarahxD1234 5

fire him or hire a hit man first ! >:)

predialien 1

I had the same idea when I read this

cockseverywhere 2

I was JUST thinking that.

Job description: Help out with kids Run other errands as required Sexually satisfy dog. Tip - have it castrated and feed it female hormones.

Get the dog a fleshlight and put it in a dog stuffed animal, see if it will hump that.

Deltasly 0

132 hahahahahahajajajajajajajajdkdnrnjeksbrjrjrjd!

imthatguythatdid 0

say the first sentence " Today, I'm a nanny" out loud. its funny

Just be glad it was a blanket and NOT your leg.

That bitch made you its bitch!

OP's leg was under the blanket... -_- also 83 if the dog was humping a blanket I guess it wasn't a bitch. I guess OP was the only bitch.

OceanBreathesSal 5

my female dog used to hump things. more specifically my friends' legs.

dudeitsdanny 9

The FML says it's a male dog. Problem solved.

OceanBreathesSal 5

I know but going by 92's theory it could have been either one.

I dunno I kinda woulda liked the leg lol

I wa saying it could be female but if it's male then they couldn't have called it a bitch.

it doesn't say it's male or female

offer your leg, it might end faster.

how did you decide that the best way to silence a dog was to let him hump something?

Well it's better than the dog bark violently. Although I'm not 100% sure I think that it involves the dog talking really loudly about murdering his family.

eminemchick 19

man how is op's name related to the post at all?XD

Don't ask, don't tell.

ryanst 7

How isn't it?

What does OP stand for?

Ovulating Penguin.

No, like, for real.

eminemchick 19

it really does stand for ovulating penguin, 72

sourgirl101 28

ii got tired of holding the blanket and got his dog Mickey.

72- Not one word of a lie. Don't listen to what others say, I'm telling the truth. Honest!

Orgasmic potheads

NastyNinja31 0

otter pussy

no, it stands for oversized penis...

kc1997kc 9

original post.

eminemchick 19

114=killjoy xD

dude, thank u. been wondering. fuckers.

According to your name, you're actually the fucker...

Its a username

How did you even find that out? :L

Haha, fair enough.

Poor nanny; the kids are sleeping but she still gets no peace, until the dog gets his piece... is it a dominance hump or does Rover need a mate?

Rover probably needs a lady friend or male friend, you never know with dogs. Or get Rover fixed and problem solved. Some dogs lose the urge afterwards.

You generally have to get the dog fixed before they have sex with a bitch/female dog, otherwise they get the taste for it.

sourgirl101 28

You know it's not HER dog right? So her getting the dog fixed isn't something she could do. Some owners have pure breeds and won't get them neutered. I knew someone that had a pug and that thing humped everything in sight! (:

Deltasly 0

and u put a smiley face for a dog humping?! o.O

get.the dog.fixed. anything. that's jut messed up.

I think if I went and got someone else's dog fixed they would be pissed.

eminemchick 19

im so glad im not a dog..someone catches me "doing the deed" then they immediately sterilize me because its messed up? it feels good, dammit!

eminemchick 19

im so glad im not a dog..someone catches me "doing the deed" then they immediately sterilize me because its messed up? it feels good, dammit!

getting a dog fixed doesn't stop them from humping...when a person gets their tubes tied that doesn't stop them from having sex does it?

iJasper 8

It's not her dog,

cgyguy 0

104, no when you chop their balls off they can't get an erection though. health class fail.

So, if we chop your balls off, you won't get an erection? It's a rush of blood to the penis from physical or mental stimulation. He just won't produce sperm is all...

just because you get it fixed doesn't make it stop humping..

let's get you fixed.

Trybow 0

I love how people repeat other comments even though they were already said

I know, I love how people repeat others comments even though they have already been said.

You do know that some people post comments at the same time, or within a few minutes of each other, which in turn, prevents either person from seeing which comments were posted while they are typing their comment. Just a heads up.

This may seem obvious, but - chuck the damn thing outside! If that's not an option, there must have been another room you could put it in.

You can still hear dogs barking even if they are in another room. And if you just throw them outside and let them bark incessantly, you run the risk of having the cops called on you.

To me either of those options is preferable to being part of a canine masturbatory aid...