Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of the door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
tylercoffman420 19
Time to kill a bitch or at least wipe your ass with her pillow.
apineapple 40
What a horrible person.
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Comments (77)
Kramer1998 20
Kill it with fire!!!!
JKPwnage 27
Show it to your parents so they can beat her ass for all of us
OrganicSistah 17
So what are you going to do in return??
britbrat237 14
Karma will be a real bitch to your sister
FilipinoDude9 16
If it was Facebook and Instagram, I hope you took it down at least to prevent it from spreading further. Your sister is an ass and I hope you find a way to get revenge.
Xandrick 22
What an outrageous **** of a sister.
alicecooperfan 18
To bad you can't slip her some colon prep medication that they give people before they have a colonoscopy. That would be painfully effective for your revenge towards your sister. Even better, make sure she doesn't have access to anti-itch/burn cream....she'll figure out why she needs it soon enough, lol.
TallMist 32
Gaytard? REALLY? Your sister is THAT kind of person? I'm so sorry, OP. FYL for having a bigoted sister, getting laughed at on the internet, and for your harsh diarrhea. NO ONE deserves all that.
thatonetribute 31
I would have beat the crap out of her.
cynthianicole95 9
I've never heard of anyone retching at the smell of shit even diahrrea. You must have some shit going on in your body.