Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant,...

By lactose intolerant - 28/01/2019 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 179

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 346

They call me the geyser

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 22:00

Today, it's been 3 weeks since we had dinner with my sister's new girlfriend, who made us a Chinese soup that was "good for digestion". I’ve had cast iron bowels for 32 years with no problems, but for the 3 weeks since that soup, I have to shit brown water 10 times a day and I’m in agony. I think she poisoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 152

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 3 361

By jriese444 - 23/12/2011 15:45 - United States

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 513

You deserved it 3 324

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 12:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 017

You deserved it 4 002

By obviously not the favorite - 05/07/2017 18:37

Today, my mom called me a "useless spoiled brat" because I refused to drive my sister across the city just to buy flavored gelatin. I've had Amoebic Dysentery for 3 days now and need constant bathroom access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 353

Get on with it!

By Crapped - 10/06/2021 20:01

Today, I shat myself, all because my little sister spent two hours trying to make a TikTok video in the one bathroom we have in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 146

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 504

Heavy load

By alyssa ig idk - 21/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Taylor

Today, I realized why my sister has had so many fluids coming out of her, yet I was sick too and nothing was coming out. It's because everything I ate in the past 72 hours was piling up in my ass, and just came out as a monster 5 times bigger than normal, and left my ass on fire for 45 minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 158

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 164

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 29 January 2019 1:04

Trap her in the bathroom for at least an hour, and she if she tries that again.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 January 2019 1:03

I’m sure you’re sister is at least a little impressed by the extent you’ll go through to keep up the ruse.

Comments

Gofuckyourself 24

Tuesday 29 January 2019 0:36

Now if you're both under 18, I can understand it all. If not... 🤦🏽‍♀️

jenjen53 7

Tuesday 29 January 2019 0:43

Sorry, OP!! I don’t know where you’re located, but I’m also lactose intolerant and I take Lactaid (Costso brand). It does help a lot!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 January 2019 1:03

I’m sure you’re sister is at least a little impressed by the extent you’ll go through to keep up the ruse.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 29 January 2019 1:04

Trap her in the bathroom for at least an hour, and she if she tries that again.

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 29 January 2019 1:19

Time to give her the ***** then bitch at her for it

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 29 January 2019 2:58

Shouldn’t this also be your sister’s FML?

Arokthis 21

Tuesday 29 January 2019 4:26

Sister's version: "I swapped my brother's dairy free milk with regular. Now he's befouling the toilet and stinking up the house. FML!" She's be hit with a tsunami of YDI's.