Health: Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee.... - FML

By "Audrey Harmon"

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4327

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

Dementia or hate? You decide

They're everywhere

Our House

By fired - United States - Millis

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51607

You deserved it

4448

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24939

You deserved it

2481

Tweet

Share

By soccerscout7

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49687

You deserved it

3145

Tweet

Share

By xetsa - France

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23635

You deserved it

3217

Tweet

Share

By Too Late - United States - Sheboygan

Hard test

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

823

You deserved it

1957

Tweet

Share

By tiredofbullshit - United States - Littleton

Today, my dad took my car keys off my keychain and hid them from me. His reasoning was, "I don't want you to be driving during the winter." Guess who has to walk ten miles a day to work, through the New England snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23559

You deserved it

1632

Tweet

Share

By Ben - 12/11/2020 19:06 - United Kingdom

You learn something new every day

Today, I woke up with a boner and found out that I have retrograde ejaculation. I'm stuck in jail and cant get medication to fix this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

470

You deserved it

666

Tweet

Share

By ohhaithur

Today, my mom accused me of stealing $350 from her. She didn't accuse my unemployed brother, who just bought a brand new iPhone. Even after he confessed to her, she thought he was covering for me. My brother has a criminal record for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2384

You deserved it

88

Tweet

Share

By pretty princess - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24746

You deserved it

4911

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Knoxville

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35435

You deserved it

6954

Tweet

Share

By Xabeix - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I got a rejection letter after I filed a claim regarding potholes on a high speed road that damaged my vehicle. Two of my tires and very expensive Honda mags, worth 1000$ each, are done for. Meanwhile, the city claims they're working hard to fix the roads. It's been 3 weeks, the potholes are still there and the city says they're not at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1758

You deserved it

291

Tweet

Share

By Username - India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25822

You deserved it

4750

Tweet

Share

By _TaToRtOt_ - United States

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40458

You deserved it

4112

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32204

You deserved it

4848

Tweet

Share

By arghhh - United States

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39653

You deserved it

5657

Tweet

Share

By grandpa porn

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3536

You deserved it

332

Tweet

Share

By snitcheyes - United States

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28833

You deserved it

2822

Tweet

Share

By nobieb - Canada - Welland

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44034

You deserved it

3585

Tweet

Share

By Becks - 7/9/2020 23:01

The spirit of John Lennon

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1470

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By Kellye - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38235

You deserved it

2503

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Booted

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26239

You deserved it

3353

Tweet

Share

By NotFamily - 22/3/2021 19:59

Shady

Today, my boyfriend blocked me on Facebook. He said he's restricting it to only close family and cousins. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks

917

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By sadgf - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

I agree, your life sucks

81799

You deserved it

6018

Tweet

Share

By

The vigil

Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel and I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go, and she showed me a Pic of my car outside his hotel... FML

I agree, your life sucks

908

You deserved it

2440

Tweet

Share

By Anonymouse

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25795

You deserved it

2146

Tweet

Share

By xXangelaXx - United States

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33130

You deserved it

6069

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

I agree, your life sucks

29034

You deserved it

7334

Tweet

Share

By junior - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20212

You deserved it

46250

Tweet

Share

By LowOnGas

Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a chuck-e-Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1576

You deserved it

1014

Tweet

Share

By Frustrated - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27251

You deserved it

3938

Tweet

Share

By GildedByVices - Australia

Today, on Xmas Eve, my eight-year-old and ten-year-old children and I sat down to watch 'Mr. Stink', an Xmas film about a scruffy, stinky tramp. When he first appeared on screen my children both exclaimed in unison, "He looks like you, dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

6310

You deserved it

690

Tweet

Share

By LeaveHimAlone - United States - Elkridge

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43406

You deserved it

3444

Tweet

Share

By lisa321 - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11499

You deserved it

116115

Tweet

Share

By Username - Australia

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26925

You deserved it

2733

Tweet

Share

By anonymous

Today, it seems that getting an apartment with a couple was a bad idea. They agree on everything, so my opinion never seems to matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3011

You deserved it

878

Tweet

Share

By really? - United States

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45615

You deserved it

3012

Tweet

Share

By sigh - Australia - Rockdale

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29651

You deserved it

3217

Tweet

Share

By Daria_Weiner - Russian Federation

Today, at my anniversary party and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16411

You deserved it

48495

Tweet

Share

By notrocketscience - United States - West Monroe

Dumbass

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24300

You deserved it

3734

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pratt

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37424

You deserved it

10677

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RoseCrystal | 17

#7441828 - Thursday 20 April 2017 17:07

I've been there with my kneecap, OP. It's not beautiful at all.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7441818 - Thursday 20 April 2017 16:27

Someone knee-ds attention.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7441818 - Thursday 20 April 2017 16:27

Someone knee-ds attention.

Reply

Audrey Harmon | 4

#7441917 - Thursday 20 April 2017 18:59

Punny XD

By RoseCrystal | 17

#7441828 - Thursday 20 April 2017 17:07

I've been there with my kneecap, OP. It's not beautiful at all.

By JpRose | 1

#7441972 - Thursday 20 April 2017 20:19

Welcome to the club OP, try doing on the hills of San Francisco, that's something I'll never forget

By Meh45 | 8

#7442056 - Thursday 20 April 2017 22:50

I dislocated mine rollerblading. Apparently, planting your foot and turning is a bad idea.

By bleh_idk.soooostute8yirgywrdjyrwudetzauyeqsteazteazu | 5

#7442136 - Friday 21 April 2017 4:18

I did that 2 times it SUCCCCCS

By GhostFox | 33

#7442213 - Friday 21 April 2017 10:32

At first I thought the FML part was that it happened because your sister tackled you, not that your knee dislocated. Then I remembered most people don't have dislocations almost every day. Do RICE procedure and look into something to hold your knee caps in place while the muscles and tendons heal.

By dramaelf | 37

#7443111 - Sunday 23 April 2017 6:59

I've done that, it is so freaking painful.