Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML
Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Olovio 5
Bet you can't wait for sporks!
W0 0
Fork your life!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
zembof 3
GOLDEN!
notstarboard 0
METAL!!!
zojieeu 6
sucks for being you
footballtracksta 0
hahaa fuckkkk that
ShelbyyCakess 0
that's so interesting!
whiteboy7thst 2
It's time to use a knife and...
benderbot19 0
guess they didn't get to cell phone etiquette yet.
OfficeNinja 5
awww. poor you, learning how to be a civilized human being - and not Zog the Neanderthal. just wait for the wine paring section.
haileemarie7 6
I just a got a new dog thats very misbehaved. I couldn't think of a name for him. Anyways, thank you for helping me pick a name for him. I will now calm him Zog (x
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
You'll need a pretty sharp knife to pare a bottle of wine.
mrbattleman 10
pay attention. that information may very well save your life one day
DatWhiteGuy 0
Stab some bitches with a fork.
DatWhiteGuy 0
Stab some bitches with a knife.
instnt1nfction 17
stab some bitches with a spoon
skyttlz 32
stab some bitches with a spork
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
^win!
xoCOURTNIEox 0
haha may come in handy
ViaWithLove 6
We had to do that. We had to eat a donut with a knife and fork.
OCDC 9
That is completely un-American!