Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML
Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
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Top comments
Olovio 5
Bet you can't wait for sporks!
W0 0
Fork your life!!
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Comments (197)
Hotlanta 5
have you never heard of a spork before? only the greatest thing ever!!
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Private schools suck.
Crazy4Christ 0
who said it was private? and no they dont
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Of course it was private. Public funding would never go toward etiquette classes. I wouldn't expect you to understand that though. . .
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
. . .cuz ur probly one of those people who thinks the world will end on the 21st this month.
LolMoqz 10
ok uhm. I have gone to both public and private school. im pretty sure neither of them would give a lecture on how to eat.
HahaYDI 0
I went to a private school from grades 1-8. I had an etiquette class in fourth grade and another in fifth grade. Some schools do, it just depends.
perdix 31
With the way China is taking over everything, knives and forks will become as useful as buggywhips and harpoons. You need to have an extensive seminar on chopsticks.
slsrox1298 0
imagine the prissiness and properness of the loser that took that job :P lolz
ShyAnn29 15
sporks are awesome
Crazy4Christ 0
haha don't even go there! I had a month long talk on etiquette at my school! yah... I don't do any of ot
emerluvsu 6
*gasp* schools still have ettiquette talks?! Wtf! This isn't the Marie Antoinette time period here! And plus, our society has deteriorated so much that nobody uses ettiquette...how sad
emerluvsu 6
Yes. Such poor spooning form nowadays. Its disappointing.
BeanPole329 0
spooning etiquette?
logo79 0
When u get to knives, just stab yourself.
instnt1nfction 17
or call suicide hotline
joshswensoon15 0
whats next? sporks?