Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML
Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Olovio 5
Bet you can't wait for sporks!
W0 0
Fork your life!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
sweetonsno 1
Proper etiquette sets you above your peers and is good to know if you ever plan to be in formal or professional settings.
quesidias 0
with strawberries on their heads
suprmidgt 0
That's funny my teacher in high school said in a class if he could go back in time to meet any one, he would go back and kill Betty Etiquette before she could write that book.
suprmidgt 0
That's funny my teacher in high school said in a class if he could go back in time to meet any one, he would go back and kill Betty Etiquette before she could write that book.
cwmbear 0
did you cover ladies?
elowyn4life 0
good. kids these days have no manners or etiquette. learn well
rattusrattus 19
That's a protocol class, not an ettiquette class. Ettiquette involves useful stuff, like not eating with your mouth open, holding doors for people with full hands, not discussing your disturbing sex life in public, saying please and thank you, not yelling at people when standing in line just because they make some enquiries prior to the transaction, not going around demanding gifts and not being a special snowflake. Protocol is things like what spoons to use. On the subject of spoons etc. The outermost ones are the ones you use first, working inwards, your bread is on your left and your drink is on your right. Cake forks are awesome.
alyslove 5
do you attend oxford in england, perhaps?
dangger 0
that's not an fml, it's a sign you need to switch schools
Lisa89 3
Having manners never hurt any one. And learning things, no matter how obscure they seem to you, makes for a more knowledgeable person! It might come in handy one day. People might actually put their good manners to use. -_-