Living together: Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to...

By popasquat - 04/12/2018 12:00

Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 724

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Same thing different taste

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 7 573

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 119

Whoops

By chubbs - 28/05/2014 21:07 - United States - Vacaville

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 242

You deserved it 3 782

Caught short

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 16:00

Today, I peed myself pretty bad while waiting for the elevator in my boyfriend’s luxury apartment building, and there was a camera. I ran away, but I was afraid my boyfriend would get fined if I left it, so I tried my best to clean it but I feel like such an idiot now. I really hope they don’t check the camera footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 296

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 6 590

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 7 422

By edwinduarte1 - 13/09/2010 06:49 - France

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 3 309

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 360

You deserved it 3 720

By monkeyzz - 12/10/2012 11:11 - United States - Sonora

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 560

You deserved it 6 999

julfunky 29

Tuesday 4 December 2018 12:31

You should be fine. Unless that also happens to be the night your place gets robbed, he’ll have no need to check the security footage. Just cross your fingers and hope it eventually gets lost.

Phillycheeze 20

Tuesday 4 December 2018 12:59

Oh Shit!!

Comments

julfunky 29

Tuesday 4 December 2018 12:31

You should be fine. Unless that also happens to be the night your place gets robbed, he’ll have no need to check the security footage. Just cross your fingers and hope it eventually gets lost.

Phillycheeze 20

Tuesday 4 December 2018 12:59

Oh Shit!!

evilplatypus 38

Tuesday 4 December 2018 14:51

Use the kitchen sink next time.

mike3775 35

Tuesday 4 December 2018 16:09

There were no bottles laying around?

katydid91 31

Wednesday 5 December 2018 11:48

OP is female. Peeing in a bottle successfully is very difficult for females.

purplepixie23 16

Tuesday 4 December 2018 17:47

I think it would be less em-bare-ass-ing to just go in the bathroom while roommates in the shower. There must be some kind of curtain or door.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Tuesday 4 December 2018 20:10

you could've said ****'em and barge into the room and used a toilet if they woulda bitched then respond with "next time don't take so fucling long" and if they continue to bitch just flush